So, I’m back to reality after being semi-unplugged for about 10 days on vacation. I didn’t even watch the Bachelor Finale live! (I did that last night) It was a pop culture drought for me and boy, did I feel it! Not really, but I’m always happy to get caught up on the stuff that doesn’t really matter but matters to me. A couple of highlights:
JP sorta picked Nikki on the Bachelor (ew)
No, uh uh. You are the Juan for no one.
Taylor Swift dumped her best friend Selena Gomez over her renewed relationship with Justin Bieber
(ew x infinity)
Oh I don’t know. He’s prolly really sweet, deep down.
Those two things, plus a friend of a friend (FoaF) drama that happened on vacation, got me thinking about girls and how we react when we witness our BFs making questionable relationship choices. Have you ever dumped a friend when you thought she was making a big mistake getting involved, staying involved or getting back with a total (in your mind and/or everyone else’s mind) d-bag? Have you confronted her with your opinion only to have her cut you out of her life?
In an ideal world, we love our friend’s partners, and they love us. Right? End of story and we all live happily ever after. But that doesn’t happened as much as we hope and especially not when you’re 22 and ruled by hormones and chasing the bad guy, the bad ass guy, the trucker-hat-wearing, squinty, diaper-pants-sporting, pretending to be -hood, Ferrari driving over-indulged brat. Because when you are in love you make sometimes-questionable choices. I’m sure Taylor has been pulling her hair out over Selena getting back with him, but I’m not down with her if she really did pull the plug on a friend she once described as the “closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister” because of it. I’m not so sure that Taylor is really a talisman for how to do relationships right anyway. But then again, none of us are, really.
But how do you really feel about him, Tay?
So what do you do when you see your friend setting herself up for some major hurt? How do you know when to step in and when to keep your mouth shut? And what happens when you do…or you don’t…and then you watch your friend get hurt. The sitch on the love boat is something like this. Friend of a friend’s (FoaF) man is an ass. He treats her badly. Talks down to her. All friends involved know it. Outsiders who have just met him know it. And yet FoaF is jumping into the deep end. Financially supporting him. Talking about rings and destination weddings. The friends want to say something. Should say something. Know that if the sitch was reversed SHE would say something. Maybe a nudge, a bitch-slap or a full out knock over the head with a hammer. How many times have you wanted to say something, but held back, worried that it would cost you your friendship?
Oh Girl BUSINESS PLAN
I’m thinking this a business idea in the making. Imma call it the: OH GIRL INTERVENTION SERVICE. For a fee, a group of girls will step in when friends won’t, or don’t or can’t. Maybe even when it appears that a girl doesn’t have any friends, like coworkers or stylists or bartenders could refer. You can anonymously tell your friends what you think without it coming back to wreck the friendship.
I see a possible intervention going something like this:
Hey Nikki, we’re the OGIS. OH, GIRL. You need to take a step back and think about what you deserve from a relationship. You sat beside JP on that couch as he humiliated you. Don’t you deserve someone who would actually admit feelings rather than shrug and basically insinuate that you are interchangeable with any other woman who may have been sitting there. OH GIRL…Where are your friends??? Why haven’t they stepped up for you? Do you have any?
Or possibly: Oh heeeyyy Selena. Taylor may have ditched ya, but OH GIRL…You can do sooo much better than Justin. He’s taking you down a bad road. You’ve already been to “rehab” You are too vulnerable to be with someone who clearly only thinks of himself. OH GIRL…figure out who you are on your own. Spend some time with your real friends. The ones who don’t ditch you when you need them even when they seeing you repeating your mistakes, I mean.
BTW, that is an awesome bitch face, Swifty.
And: Uh hi FoaF. OH GIRL. You are on the smarter side of 35, right? (Sorry under 35-ers, we’re supposed to have the benefit of experience on our side when making choices) And you’ve been down this road before? And you have a child to think about? Don’t marry this man just so you’ll have someone. You deserve better. We all do. OH GIRL.
Maybe even: OH GIRL. Your man is cheating on you all over town. Everyone knows it but you. Please save yourself any further disrespect and put his sh*t in a bag and push it down the stairs.
So, what do you think? Will OH GIRL save some friendships? Maybe they aren’t worth saving if you can’t or don’t express your opinions. I don’t know. But I’ll tell you this: Nikki, Selena, OH GIRL, this ain’t ending well for either of you.
Have you ever had to offer unsolicited relationship advice to a friend? What happened?