Thanks to Jamie W’s recaps, I really want to watch Henry IV. Unfortunately, I have to wait for Husby to finish reading Game of Thrones, which is a problem considering that he reads about three lines a night, and then falls asleep on the couch. At this rate, it will take him another 2,756 years to finish the series, so in the meantime I am filling my media-hole (not a euphemism) with the delicious absurdity that is Sleepy Hollow.
A short recap: The headless horseman has awakened after 250 years to find his head and get the band (The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse) back together in order to go on the ‘Pestilence, Famine, War and Death’ tour. First stop: Sleepy Hollow! Ichabod Crane (we’ll call him IC) and Abbie Mills have identified themselves (as a result of some very suspicious logic) as the two witnesses mentioned in the book of Revelations, and it is their job to defeat them.
The battle involves witches, demons, Germans(?), and is basically a concoction of the following elements: The X-files, NYPD Blue, Sherlock Holmes (the Robert Downey version), Outlander in Reverse, Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown (not really), Ladyhawke, and something I have not yet identified, but I believe is tamarind. And it is awesomely, addictively ridiculous.
So true, Sleepy Hollow, so true
You may now be asking yourself: “But how will I know if Sleepy Hollow is ridiculous enough for me to love?” Here’s a review of my favorite ridiculousnesses to help you decide.
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The Best 7th Grade American History Class Ever
Why spend your time slogging through a dull textbook, when history has never come so alive as it does in Sleep Hollow!
When your teacher tells you that no one knows what happened to the lost colony of Roanoke, be the first to shout out “WRONG!” From watching this show, you know that the citizens of Roanoke contracted a viciously contagious disease (courtesy of capital ‘P’ Pestilence), and the ghost of the littlest victim relocated the entire colony to dense woods around Sleepy Hollow in order to protect them. I bet your teacher will be mighty impressed!
For extra credit, write an essay about how you know the Boston Tea Party was not a result of excessive taxation, but instead a distraction masterminded by – yes – Ichabod Crane so he could make off with a mysterious object at the behest of General Washington, Horseman Hunter.
Yes
Now, we are only about 5 episodes into this, so imagine how smart you will be by the end of the season. I smell an A for you!
Ridiculous rating: Supa-dupa! Can’t wait to find out what Paul Revere was REALLY up to!
Ichabod Crane – Is He or Isn’t He . . .
The point of view of the show makes it clear that we are meant to totally be on board with IC being a guy who just woke up after 250 years in the ground, and is now a fish out of water in the 21st century. But here’s the thing: IC doesn’t seem particularly out of place. I am forced to conclude that either he is the kind of fish that lives on land and is native to 21st century Sleepy Hollow, or, conversely, he is the normal kind of fish, and Sleepy Hollow is actually completely submerged under water.
There are some nice moments showcasing his bewilderment at modern life. For example, an hilarious exchange with an OnStar-like operator, and this brief but endearing moment with Scotch Tape:
Just another excuse for a picture of Tom
But for crying out loud! When he was last awake there was no such thing as ANYTHING! No cars, no phones, no Slankets – nothing! If I’m him, regardless of whether you have explained to me the concept of ‘airplane,’ every time a giant, roaring, metal bird-monster-of-death flies overhead, I’m going to being diving into the bushes and peeing myself. Every-damn-time!
Also, every once once in a while Ichabod gets super crazy eyes, like thus:
Did you see that?
And suddenly I’m thinking, maybe this guy is just putting us on. Maybe he’s actually just some guy who cosplayed Revolutionary War Anime (an actual thing) at Comic Con a few years back, and couldn’t shake the character.
Maybe this whole charade is in the service of some elaborate vertically-integrated advertising scheme for the initial public offering of hotguysinrevolutionarygarb.com. (I don’t know what any of those words mean) In this show, anything is possible!
PS No one else thinks this. This is my own secret ridiculous. Don’t tell anyone, because I am trying to patent it. You’ll see! When is turns out to be true I will make millions! Bwahahahaha!
Ridiculous Rating: Very. Don’t care because it is extremely Tom-centric.
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Hair Synergy
For some reason Ichabod Crane and Lieutenant Mills sport identical half-ponytail hairstyles.
This picture kind of sucks, but you get the idea
I know this isn’t a huge thing, but it makes me curious. Do they do each others hair in the morning? (For some reason, I find that mental image strangely erotic – that’s normal, right?) Does it have something to do with the Horseman – when they inspect his removed head, will he, too, have this hairstyle?
Perhaps that’s how the two witnesses are to be identified according to the book of Revelations? “And thou shalt know the witnesses, for they have hair that is divided in 2 parts horizontally, and the top part shall be tied back modestly in a thong of elastic, leaving the lower part to billow becomingly in the winds. But lo! There will be left free a fringe of hair around the face of the witnesses that will saveth them from the appearance of severity, and complementeth the fineness of their bone structures.” I’ll have to dig out my Bible in order to verify this.
Ridiculous Rating: Low, but perplexing nonetheless
Polyglot Insanity
Although the whole ‘defeating the four Horseman’ is the main thread, this show is not afraid to take detours into the mythos of other cultures. One thread features a sandman myth from the Mohawk, that Crane is not only fully cognizant of, but Mills is also readily able to provide an introduction to an actual Mohawk used car salesman who also happens to be a closet Shaman!
He, naturally, knows exactly how to deal with the killer dream monster, and has the requisite potion pre-brewed for advantageous plot pacing. Notice how I just glossed over all that, because that is actually NOT the ridiculous part of this scene. This is: In order to enter their dreams and slay the monster, Mills and Crane end up tied to beds and stung by scorpions (“their venom will allow you to control your actions while you dream” A++!) , WHILE HAVING BEEN RELIEVED OF THEIR SHIRTS!
WHAAAA????? There is some vague explanation given along the lines of ‘not wanting them to hurt themselves.’ Yes, I see, freedom of movement is the source of danger in this scenario. Not the deadly scorpion. Not the mysterious potion whipped up by a used car salesman. Got it.
This scene is all kinds of awesome, but could have been rocketed to the level of heroically ridiculous if, for example, Mills and Crane had to be tied together face to face in a very awkward and suggestive manner, or if, somehow, the venom also caused them to lose all their inhibitions (Star Trek style).
Ridiculous Rating: Off the charts! Do more of this!
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Less ridiculous than Shakespeare
By now you may be thinking “This may be too ridiculous for me.” But let me put your mind at ease with the following story:
I went to see a Shakespeare play last weekend, that contained the following elements:
- King mysteriously consumed by jealous notion that expectant wife is shtupping best friend
- Oracle of Delphi pronounces stuff and wreaks havoc
- Sudden inexplicable offstage death of wife
- King’s newborn child left for dead in foreign land, and ends up, 16 years later, betrothed to son of aforementioned best friend
- Wife’s statue comes comes to life after 16 years to reunite with lost daughter and contrite husband
- Everyone retires to picnic on the castle grounds (not really, but almost)
I bet you can’t even guess which play this is, because this kind of ridiculous crap happens in ALL of his plays!
Nope, it wasn’t this one
Don’t get me wrong, I heartily enjoy Shakespeare. As I mentioned, I am very much looking forward to watching Henry IV in the year 4769 when the husband is done with GOT. But, as a watched SH the next day, I was stricken by the fact that this show is actually LESS ridiculous than a lot of Shakespeare.
Yeah, a lot of stuff is kind of silly (Plague sends the inhabitants of the lost Roanoke colony to unleash a disease on modern Sleepy Hollow?). Yeah, the dialogue contains such gems as this: “Scorpion stings, they are, um, ouch.” Yeah, his clothes that he died in and have been buried under dirt for the past 250 years are actually cleaner and in better shape (and probably less smelly) than what I am wearing right now.
But this is the same kind of crazy that allowed Bill to keep selling his super-repetitive wic-a-wac plays 400 years ago: People love to watch ridiculous things! Ridiculous is fun! Ridiculous is unpredictable! Ridiculous is way better than my day job shoveling cow manure on His Lordship’s manor. Ridiculous is especially awesome if it features this kind of thing:
Tom, seriously, I love you. (Call me)
And Sleepy Hollow, I love you too! (Call me)
What do you think? Is Sleepy Hollow ridiculous enough for you to love? What historical events do you need Sleepy Hollow to tackle before your midterm? Does the thought of brushing Ichabod’s hair into his daily half-ponytail give you butterflies too? Should there be more head-related puns used in the show? What ridiculous shows are you watching, and can I come over and watch them with you? (I’ll bring nachos!)
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