I have exactly one friend, Best Friend, who gets just as obsessive and passionate as me; she is my only fangirl refuge. I thank you, Best Friend, for your nonjudgmental companionship in my fandom obsessions. Most of the other people in my life understand that I’m this way, but they don’t really get it. Back in a much more naïve time, I used to think that I was not alone, but then you have those conversations, the ones where you’re in the middle of a fifteen minute long diatribe about the intricacies of the latest book to movie adaptation, and you lose them. You can see that look in their eyes gradually shift from interest to genuine discomfort and concern. Like you just said that you thought mermaids were real. You both realize at the same time that you are way more into this thing than they are. That there are some people who like something a lot and yet are still able to go on with their lives, and that you are not one of those people. AT ALL.
For instance, if I start a new book, or heaven help me a new series, I do nothing. Else. With. My. Life. No-thing. When I read The Hunger Games trilogy for the first time, I didn’t leave my room, barely ate or slept. And it’s anyone’s guess as to whether or not I showered. (Probably not.) When you tell that to people who aren’t obsessive fans, they look at you like you’ve gone past all reason and need to take a step back to reevaluate the way you’re living your life. And I know that other people will get really into something and let life fall by the wayside for a little while, that fandom isn’t always an all or nothing kind of thing. But there’s a line somewhere, and I’m still not entirely sure what that line is, that separates “huge fan” and “incurably neurotic fan.”
Maybe there are actually a ton of people I know who are just like me in this regard and they’re just better at hiding it than I am, in which case I stand corrected. Maybe they too will watch a movie or read a book and immerse themselves in it and feel devastated when it’s over think about it all the time because it makes their heart hurt in the most awesome way. But I suspect not. I used to think that trapped inside of everyone was a shrieking tweener fangirl dying to make herself known about the right subject and lately I’m not so sure. I was having coffee with Logical Friend the other day, and telling her about what an awesome time Best Friend and I had in Philly at a book signing for The Host. While she happy for me, she didn’t get why I was so excited. Logical Friend is not a fangirl. She is, in fact, the least fangirly person I know. She’ll watch a movie once and then probably never again. She dislikes all things warm and fuzzy. She’s annoyed by Peeta Mellark. She probably roots for the mean fiancé in Titanic.
She’s not at all an unsympathetic or unfeeling person, and we get along perfectly fine in many other areas, but we totally miss each other here. I don’t think we understand each other even a little bit. I mean, what do people who don’t obsess over things even think about?! This is not a joke, I’m totally serious. If anyone out there knows, please help me understand. Maybe Logical Friend’s life is better than mine; maybe she doesn’t need the escapism or diversion. She can watch a movie or TV show, or read a book, enjoy it, and then go on with her life. An interesting concept. However, the other day I spent quite a large chunk of time looking at pictures of Theo James, so….
Logical Friend: 0, Me: Infinity.
I fully realize that I am very lucky to have Best Friend in my life, and the fact that we can talk to each other without one of us asking something infuriating like, “Why do you care so much? It’s not even real.” Oh, I’m so sorry. You’re right, I should concentrate on real life things because they’re always so much happier and more fascinating. I really loved hearing about that time you went to T.G.I. Friday’s with your boyfriend and such and such happened with your waiter and it was so hilarious. Can I write a fan fiction about it? (It occurs to me that maybe I need to attempt to meet more interesting people…)
That’s why even though the internet gets a bad wrap for being a creepy, impersonal way to communicate with people, (and in all fairness, we it can be sometimes) I love it to pieces. It’s a way to find and reach out to people you would ordinarily never meet. I would love to be able to get together in person and talk, but we can be a shy and rare breed, so that’s not always an option. And yes, I get the irony that if I spent less time on the internet I might have a higher chance of meeting said people in real life.
But Best Friend just posted something about Harry Potter on my Facebook wall, so I’m pretty swamped right now. Maybe later…
Do you have a friend like Best Friend who gets and feeds your obsession with fandoms? I sure hope so…
This post is NOT sponsored by SomeCards despite how it may seem. I’ve been subscribed to their newsletter for years and every week when that e-mail arrives I get annoyed because its one more thing crowded by inbox, but then I open it. And read it. And laugh. And don’t unsubscribe. You can find a somecard for everything. – Bekah
