BREAKING: Channing Tatum Saves World With Sexuality

Hey there, it’s resident Channing Tatum expert Elise here, reporting on some very important developments. The trailer to his action movie with Jamie Foxx, White House Down, has been released. We’ll touch base after you watch a few times (start at 1:02 for repeat viewings with fewer explosions and more Tatum):

My initial reaction to the dramatic intro went something like this:

“OUR DARKEST SECRETS…” (uh, like my love for some Tatum?!)

“WILL BECOME…OUR GREATEST THREAT.” (Wait, what?! Channing is a sleeper agent? A Manchurian Candidate? An alien? A Terminator?)

Cut to:

Ohhhhhh I get it, the threat being that he is SO SEXUAL. This power has been used as a weapon before. Threat acknowledged, my friends. THREAT ACKNOWLEDGED.

Never thought I’d be marking my calendar for one of these crappy disaster movies, but here we are. Who’s seeing it this summer?

photos: 1, 2