So, we went to New York over the holidays, and my sweet indulgent husband let me drag him out in the rain to the Lincoln Center to see On The Road. And not the nice, lovely Lincoln Center bit where families went to see the Nutcracker and dressed nicely. The way-across-the-street, not-really-obvious movie theater. Not that one! No the other one, over there. Anyway, we went. And if you are coming here for some sort of serious movie criticism or thoughtful comparisons on a great work of literature versus a movie with Kirsten Dunst in it, well you have come to the wrong place, my friend. This is about me not remembering that there was so much boy kissing in this book.
First hilarious thing: Guy behind us in line for tickets: “Huh. I wonder what On The Road is about.” Le sigh for the American educational system.
But then! The movie starts! And I don’t really remember much of what happened because soon enough it’s Garret Hedlund’s ass! OMG he is so naked in this movie! So. Much. Just straight up answers the door in the all together. I guess that’s to show that he’s totally non conformist, or maybe too poor for a robe.
BUT THEN! But then it gets so much better because Allen Ginsberg / Carlo Marx / Tom Sturridge reveals his huge crush on Neal Cassady / Dean Moriarty / Garrett Hedlund. And then it gets better than THAT because Neal/Dean/Garrett is a big ol’ good time guy, and will basically make out with anyone. They actually develop a very sweet relationship that goes beyond sex to a sort of soulmate, talk way into the night sort of thing, at least for TomStu…because Cue The Heartbreak! The guy who is just out of jail and leaves his 16 year old wife just lying around all over and does lots of drugs is not the most reliable dude! But this happens, and it’s awesome:
Know what else happens? THIS:
I won’t find a gif of Garrett having sex with Steve Buscemi, though, because nobody needs to see that. BUT IT HAPPENS. I know, and now you know. We’re all disturbed. Let’s get back to adorable boys.
“Am I in this movie?” “Yes, but you won’t make out with dudes. Lame.”
Sam Riley really wants to sleep with Kristen Stewart, but he won’t make out with Garrett Hedlund to do it. He will, however, get naked in a car with both of them. And then this happens:
Nobody knows why to this day. Something about freedom.
Other things happen, and if you’ve read the book you will vaguely remember some of them although you don’t think they quite happened that way in the book. Which they didn’t.
Overall I did like the movie, and not just for the boysecks. You will have to read a much more serious review than this one to get a better idea of epic filmography, shots being evocative of driving in the car for miles, and that great scene in the jazz club with Terrence Howard. It did go a bit long, as evidenced by the lady behind us, when the credits rolled, saying “Finally!” and leaping out of her seat. If it ends up coming to a theater near you, and you have a couple hours…go see it! Just go pee first.
Did you see On the Road? Were you surprised by the amount of guys kissing?
Guest Post by Traci
Traci’s current obsessions: Grumpy Cat. Knitting. Responding to emails solely with animated gifs. Vampires, always me with the vampires. I do social media hullaballo for several different entities under several guises, most notably for Omnific Publishing. Hit me up for book recs; I’ll tell it to you straight. Then in my other life I talk about politics every week on the Liberal Oasis Podcast!
