Keep in mind, these are probably the same men who get morning wood just thinking about the next Fast and Furious movie because those are oh so original.
Needless to say, I’m excited about this latest reincarnation. It’s been almost 20 years since Drew Berrymore’s celluloid reimagining, and although the intentionally campy/high octane film is still one of my not-so guilty pleasures, the Angels needed an upgrade in this #MeToo/Time’s Up world.
The premise is still the same: three attractive women – using their brains, beauty, and brawn – hired as spies for Charlie Townsend, ridding the world of evil and proving that women can successfully work together and handle big ass explosions without male supervision. However, this Charlie’s Angels features a more diverse group of Angels that clearly reflect today’s fluid cultural landscape.
Is it another remake? Yes, but here’s why 2019’s Charlie’s Angels is the movie we need.
Major BVE
Go ahead and keep your big dick energy. This year is all about BIG VAGINA ENERGY, and it’s clear that this Charlie’s Angel is all about sustaining and harnessing that energy. I may be reading into this (I’m not), but even the official logo exudes the BVE. Hello, symbolic vagina.
The trailer opens with this declaration: “I think women can do anything,” and goes on to prove just that. The three angels – Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, and Ella Balinksa – do not shy away from using both their intelligence and strength to prove that they can play with the big boys. Even if that play includes rendering a man unconscious with the use of chemical compounds. This is why we need more of our young girls in STEM programs!
As well as playing one of the three Bosley’s, Elizabeth Banks served as both screenwriter and director for this upcoming reboot. She joins the ranks of Wonder Woman’s Patty Jenkins and Captain Marvel‘s Anna Boden as female directors for major studio productions.
Guess what happens when you place a woman in charge of a female-driven action/adventure storyline. Success and sequels. What happens when you don’t? Catwoman and Elektra. Need I say more?
Two Words: Kristen. Stewart.
Our first image of Kristen Stewart is in a tight pink dress, long blonde wig (wig game is strong in this film) exerting her feminine wiles. The next image we have is her punching her elbow repeatedly into a man’s face, while chastising him for embezzling humanitarian aide money. After she neutralizes the target (i.e. kicking the shit out of him), the wig comes off, revealing her bleached, bad ass asymmetrical pixie undercut.
For those expecting a dour, subdued, clearly uncomfortable during interviews Kristen Stewart in this film, I think you may be a little disappointed. What we do have is a KStew looking absolutely amazing, and who not only shows off her physical prowess, but also shows her ability to have fun, even making a joke (or two) and partaking in a – insert gasp – dance routine.
That’s right: we get to see Kristen Stewart dance. The last time we saw that happen on screen, she was wearing a wedding dress in the woods. If that isn’t enough for you to see this film, you are not my people.
Okay, Fine. Here’s Noah Centineo.
To be honest, I completely forgot that the Internet’s boyfriend was in this film until he popped up at the end of the trailer. Blame it on my gradual subsiding lust for Noah Centineo and his Instagram posts that reminded me that he’s just a 23 year old who still doesn’t believe in hands-free driving.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BtHjFXBB5WY/
But I get it. You still have to draw in a younger generation in for this franchise to succeed. While I hope the draw is primarily on three strong female characters, I know that for many young girls and boys, they’re going to want to see Peter Kazinksky talk about chemistry all the while sporting a crystal necklace from Abercrombie’s douche canoe’s Coachella collection.
What I do love is that the trailer only features him in only a few frames, putting the focus more on the three Angels. Just like their wigs, costumes, and explosive mints, men are going to be the accessory in this reboot. After decades of women being pushed to the backseat of action films, I’m okay with this.
