From the day after Thanksgiving up until December 25th at 11:59 pm, I’m the living embodiment of that Elf gif that everyone is prone to use no matter the time of year:
So, what happens when the clock strikes midnight on December 26th? Do I take that Christmas spirit and make it last all year long?
Hell to the nah because the end of Christmas means one thing: New Year’s Eve. I can unequivocally proclaim for all to hear: I absolutely hate New Year’s Eve.
Now, I understand that December 31st is intended for us to reflect on the previous twelve months and to celebrate the start of the new year, and yes, I will put on a smile for friends and family while rocking a noise maker. However truth be told, I find every December 31st a struggle from start to finish. Here’s why:
Forced Frivolity
A close second to my other loathsome “holiday” – Valentine’s Day – NYE is definitely not a sit-at-home-and-hygge-day. Being that it’s only six days after Christmas, some of us are still in recovery mode. By the time you’re reading this, chances are I still have yet to put on a bra or even pants that require zipping. I want to relax, hibernate, not have to shave my legs.
New Year’s Eve says, “Eff that shit.” It’s loud, obnoxious, reeks of bad champagne and horrible decision making, and restaurants reaching frightening at-capacity levels. Don’t even get me started on the stress of being single and finding someone who may or may not have mono to kiss at midnight.
What does NYE not want? Peace and quiet.
People Acting Like Morons
Why is it on New Year’s Eve, people think that drinking copious amounts of alcohol make them either more intelligent, invincible, and better drivers*? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
For those who also celebrate NYE by going outside and shooting guns into the air because they believe that on this magical day, bullets just dissipate into the cold night air – they don’t. They come down and unfortunately, typically land on innocent people who just wanted to go outside to escape the noise.
*Remember, that some people lose all common sense during this time. Call a Lyft for friends who can’t do it themselves and then hide their keys.
Staying Up Late
As someone who thinks 10:30 pm is thirty minutes past my bedtime, I believe having to stay up until midnight to ring in the new year to be a form of accepted and encouraged torture. It’s around the 11 pm hour that my body wants to shut down and my mind screams, “Bitch, why you up?!”
Now, as a West Coaster, the idea of celebrating NYE East Coast time is tempting. However, let’s take it a step further and celebrate New Year’s Eve on Tonga time. The Pacific island is the first to celebrate, and I believe they deserve all of our attention at a decent hour.
Two Words: Ryan. Seacrest.
Need I say more? Find me one person who likes Ryan Seacrest, and I will match that and find you one person who watched that American Idol reboot. Call me pessimistic, but I think we’re both going to come up empty-handed.
However you celebrate New Year’s Eve – whether with family and friends or by yourself – may you be safe and proud if you decide to go to bed before midnight.
