My friends, you get Gritty!
AHHH! OH GOD!
Gritty, the new mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers, was unveiled at a press conference on September 24. Reactions ranged from confused and angry to confused and amused. And it’s not difficult to see why. Mostly, people seem to have been receptive to Gritty. I mean … if nothing else I would be kind of scared not to be. He looks like he might come after me.
He even has his own biography on the Flyers’ website!
His father was a “bully,” so naturally he has some of those tendencies – talented but feisty, a fierce competitor, known for his agility given his size. He’s loyal but mischievous; the ultimate Flyers fan who loves the orange and black, but is unwelcoming to anyone who opposes his team. Legend has it he earned the name “Gritty” for possessing an attitude so similar to the team he follows.
He claims that he’s been around for a lot longer than we know it, and recent construction at the Wells Fargo Center disturbed his secret hideout forcing him to show his face publicly for the first time. He has some oddities that are both humorous and strange. A number of times he’s been caught eating snow straight from the Zamboni machine, and unbeknown to most, his love of hot dogs has been inflating the Flyers Dollar Dog Night consumption totals for years.
That being said, there’s no denying that he’s one of our own.
That’s a backstory to rival that of the Phantom of the Opera. And you know what? It’s totally plausible. He’d probably blend right in with some of the Flyers’ most overzealous hockey fans.
Gritty is the last thing you see before you die.
This those googly eyes permanently rolling in their sockets, its hard not to have a chuckle at Gritty. I am honesty having a difficult time writing this because I keep wanting to break out into a fit of giggles.
Not even 24 hours after his release into the wild, Gritty was making a name for himself. His accomplishments included, but are not limited to:
- shooting a dude in the back with a t-shirt canon
- threatening to murder Pittsburgh Penguins mascot, Iceburgh
- roasting just about everyone on Twitter who dared to come at him
- slipping and falling on the ice
- being written about by just about every publication from Time to The Washington Post
- terrifying children and adults everywhere
- plotting your demise (yes, yours)
The face of a creature who has killed and will do it again.
Gritty is straight up nightmare fuel. I say this because the evening I started writing this article, I then went to bed and had nightmares. I don’t recall if Gritty was there, but I have no doubt in my mind that he was the instigator. There is something deeply unsettling about his facial expression and constantly moving eyes, and yet every time I look at him I can’t help but smile.
I love him and am so thankful he was released out into the world during these trying times. The world is kind of bananas and scary right now, and though Gritty is both of those things as well, he brings a certain kind of joy into my life. I can appreciate him trying to break the internet.
Why.
Even if you’re not a hockey fan, it’s probably been difficult to escape Gritty’s reach. He’s been everywhere. And with all the terrible stuff going on this week, it’s nice to have Gritty when we need him the most.
You can follow Gritty and his exploits on Twitter and Instagram if you’re into that sort of thing!
Let it be known as much as Gritty terrifies me that I also love him and would die for him. Which bodes well for me, because I am convinced that I’m likely going to be his next victim.
