Fall, the best of all the seasons, is finally here! I’m an unabashed lover of the cooler weather, and everything that comes along with this time of year. Goodbye giant bugs and disgusting humidity, you can slither back down to the satanic burrow from whence you came. Now is the time to usher in crunchy leaves, cider, and various squashes for both eating and arranging around the home for ambiance. For no real reason at all I’ve also always associated birds with this season, which is a bit odd for a Northeasterner, since a lot of them start to head south. But there are actually lots of birds that stick around and the ones that can withstand the cold are tough. It’s hard, but they endure, because what the hell else are they gonna do? The birds know, like many of us, what it’s like to be at the end of your damn rope right now.
This Coal Tit just heard someone say that they’re not going to bother voting in the midterms because there just isn’t a candidate that they feel really excited about.
The most quintessentially fall bird, this Crow just watched a man vying for one of the most important jobs in the country throw a petulant tantrum that no woman on this planet could ever get away with. “Is this fucking guy for real?!” she thinks to herself as the man screamed about how much he loves beer for the seventeenth time.
This Linnet was just caught drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte after she mercilessly made fun of their ubiquitousness on all of her social media platforms.
This Nuthatch just sat through a surprise set by a comedian who, despite admitting that several claims of sexual misconduct made against him were true, decided that his jokes are too vital to be kept from us any longer and that we’re going to be subjected to them whether we like it or not.
This Pied Wagtail has already stopped shaving her legs for the year. Long pants are her friend.
This Owl is on a date with a guy who’s been monologuing for the past fifteen minutes about how great Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker movie is going to be, but how most people probably won’t “get it.”
This Chaffinch just got roped into going to some hipster Oktoberfest and doesn’t know how to talk her way out of it.
This Dartford Warbler just watched 20 seconds of Trump talking to the press. Wide, blankly staring eyes, mouth slightly agape. We’ve all been there.
This Christmas Robin just saw Beto O’Rourke looking FINE, and she is flustered. “You could get more than my vote, Beto!” chirps the Robin.
So the next time you see a bird, give them an appreciative nod of understanding and maybe toss them a crouton. They know what’s up.
