**Spoilers**
Voodoo, Papa, and two surprise guests!
We start out getting a smidge of backstory on Dinah. She’s the Voodoo Queen, now that Marie is gone. She’s living in Beverly Hills ensuring the husbands of BH stay faithful to their super brutal wives and honestly, it’s a little boring. Dinah isn’t trying to do anything other than making a ton of money. Greed is boring. But, then again, so has Dinah’s entire character arc to date.
Cordelia asks Dinah to do her a favor and set up a meeting with Papa Legba. Dinah told her she would do it for $100,000 cash and boom, the deal was struck.
Next, we meet Bubbles McGee (probably the best name to ever be created, sorry any future pet, your name is set now), AKA Joan Collins second character this season. Bubbles is a witch who can read minds and also an actress. Madison comes to her to let her know she’s been summoned and that the world is about to end. Naturally, they go to dinner.
Back at the Coven, Cordelia and Dinah summon Papa Legba and he’s just as amazing as he was in Coven. He knows all about Michael Langdon and mentions that Michael is the son of Satan and the bringer of the end of days. When Cordelia asks for Papa to open to gates to hell and trap Michael in there Papa mentions that’s not such a good idea for him. He asks for something in return that he knows Cordelia would never have given him, the souls of her girls. And with that, he brings out our second surprise guest: Nan.
That’s when Cordelia finally realizes it was Fiona that killed Nan. Nan tells Cordelia that she enjoys living in Hell and causing trouble. Papa admits that Nan is one of his favorite trouble-makers. Cordelia asks for Papa to take her soul instead and he turns her down hardcore saying she’s not enough (possibly because she’s fading?). Nan asks for Cordelia to make the bargain because she misses her friends. Cordelia doesn’t make the deal. Papa also asked Dinah if she was ready to make the deal for immortality and Dinah turns him down saying that snatching newborns isn’t her thing.
Cordelia and Dinah are better than their predecessors.
Coco, Fancy Dinner, and Bringing back more people who died
Coco is super proud that her powers are growing, if you remember she was able to detect gluten in food. Now, she is able to detect the exact amount of calories in food as well. I mean, it seems so stupid but also, I wish I could do that. Maybe next time I look at a chocolate milkshake I’ll think twice.
So, Coco accidentally chokes to death on a Sno-ball and honestly, for a Coven of powerful witches, you’d think SOMEONE would know a spell or even just the Heimlich maneuver. Zoe just stands there shouting “BREATHE!” at the choking Coco. #NotHelpful.
What was helpful was Mallory using her powers to cut open Coco’s neck and pulling out the partially masticated Sno-ball by hand. #SuperHelpful
Bubbles and Myrtle head back to the warlocks in order to read their minds and find out what they’re planning. Basically, they find out that Ariel had John Henry killed and that Baldwin wants to kill all the witches. Did we need an entire dinner scene for this information? I don’t think so, even if Joan Collins and Frances Conroy were amazing in it.
We find out how Myrtle came back from the dead, that Cordelia brought her back because she needed Myrtle’s guidance.
And that Cordelia almost killed herself trying to bring Myrtle back.
Next, the Coven goes to bring John Henry back from the dead. For a show that’s literally centered around the Apocalypse and everyone in the world dying, A LOT of people are being brought back from the dead. Quick recap of people who died but are now alive so far: Queenie, Madison, Myrtle, John Henry, Coco (like twice), Mallory, Dinah, Misty Day, that deer Mallory brought back, and I’m going to say technically Ms. Mead (just because she came back as a robot doesn’t change the fact that she came back).
BUT, in bringing back John Henry, Mallory completed the Seven Wonders. Also, in getting back John Henry, they uncovered Ms. Mead as Michael accomplice. The Coven kidnaps Ms. Mead, I kept thinking Michael was going to show up and shit would go down, but no.
Powder, Fire, and Sweet Sweet Revenge
Baldwin claims to have made a powder that will cause people to bleed to death through their pores, which sounds awful. And by people, I mean women. Only women. Ariel is all on board with this.
Cordelia shows up and literally makes the two men shut up. Have I mentioned how much I love Cordelia this season? She was whiny and annoying in Coven, but she is amazing and savage in Apocalypse.
Next, we see Ariel, Mead, and Baldwin tied to the stake and being prepped for the fire. That’s when John Henry comes back out and starts the fire that will kill all three of them. Ariel and Baldwin seem scared and pitiful, while Mead is laughing and not really concerned. She ain’t right.
And with that, the episode ended. I know it can’t just be me, but this season only has ten episodes. This was episode seven. They’re still building the “world” of Apocalypse, still fleshing out the backstory, and the history of each character. Episode seven of ten and still not a whole lot has happened. I really hope that the next three episodes pack that AHS punch we all know and love.
