That should be the end of this piece. Naomi won. She is amazing. Full stop.
It is not the end.
I Don’t Cheat
This what I saw as I watched it live.
In the first set, chair umpire gave Serena a code violation for coaching. Warning. In the second set, Serena—frustrated with her play and still smarting over the coaching charge—smashed her racquet and was given a second code violation for racquet abuse. Lose a point. Down 3-4 in the second set, Ramos gave her a third code violation for abusing the chair as she continued to argue with him, calling him a “thief” as he stole a point from her. Lose an entire game.
Let me lay out an important point. Coaching happens in every single match. Every. Single. Match. The commentators discuss it ad nauseum. The rule is no coaching (unless it’s on court during non-major WTA matches). The rule is always broken. The rule is very rarely enforced.
As soon as Carlos Ramos gave Serena the warning for coaching, it was over for her. She was rattled by the accusation, insistent on defending herself from the cloud of cheating. The Williams sisters have dealt with charges of cheating and match fixing since they first arrived on the tennis scene, and it makes sense that Serena felt smacked in the face once again by the inference she was being dishonest. Not once has she been called for a coaching violation, and the first time it happens is in a Grand Slam final, when she is on the complete opposite side of the court from her box? It’s shocking. Serena was smacked in the face by a rule that is selectively enforced and at the whim of the chair.
Carlos Ramos had discretion, and he chose poorly.
Serena continued to argue. I have been watching tennis obsessively since 1977 (not hyperbole), and players snipe, rehash, and complain to the chair all the time. If you don’t watch a lot of tennis, YouTube has a treasure trove of “professional tennis player bitchin” waiting for you.
Serena called Ramos a thief. Serena did not swear at him, like Roger Federer or Andy Murray are known to do. She did not threaten him like Jack Sock or David Ferrer have done. She wanted an apology from the chair. As Serena said, “I don’t cheat. I’d rather lose.” She told Ramos at one point she was showing her daughter what it was like to fight for what is right.
“You owe me an apology. I have never cheated in my life. I have a daughter and I stand for what’s right for her. I have never cheated. And you owe me an apology.” But every woman watching, every woman who has ever felt helpless while trying to stand up for herself, on the verge of tears with frustration, knew that she was not going to get an apology.
As Serena got up from a changeover, she told Ramos, “You stole a point from me. You’re a thief, too.” She walked away, and he refused to engage or defuse. He refused to do his job, in a position of power when he is supposed to be dealing with people not always at their best. Like a coward unable to handle a woman—a black woman especially—, he called into the microphone, “Code violation. Verbal abuse. Game penalty. Mrs. Williams.”
Damage done. Serena told—pleaded!—with the head US Open referee, reminding him that men do a lot worse. She was right. She told him that it was because she was a woman. She was right.
But The Rules!
Ramos is indeed a thief because he stole from Serena. He stole from Osaka, and he stole from the viewer. He could not handle a situation he created, and he certainly could not handle the arguments of an angry woman pointing a well-manicured finger at him.
Tennis resides in our world, and right now, our world is a swirl of bullshit for women. We have a dude trying to get on the Supreme Court who thinks birth control is abortion. One senator thinks we are all “hysterical.” A little black girl in Alabama was kicked out of her school for wearing her hair in braids. Actress Olivia Munn was ostracized by her male colleagues because she spoke out against a sex offender being in their film. The French Tennis Federation president is out there policing Serena’s catsuit, inferring her body itself is disrespectful. Alize Cornet got a code violation for fixing her backward shirt and exposing her sports bra during a match, from a male umpire.
Following the final, the “rules are rules” crew came out of the woodwork. They love the rules but couldn’t explain tiebreak procedure if their life depended on it. These are the people who refuse to see that rules are selectively enforced, that rules can be used as a cudgel by the powerful to get their way. This crowd operates in respectability politics, and to them Serena, Venus, and Richard Williams have never measured up. “Let’s use the rules to remind them where they stand,” these people think. Don’t be rude. Be obsequious. Be respectable. Smile. Calm down. Take it.
Serena feels incredible pressure to be a role model, to move society forward by the position she has earned. What was maddening to me post-match was the number of people who dismissed what Serena was saying, as if misogyny or sexism couldn’t possibly come into play.
When a woman tells you that Serena’s experience rings true, believe her. When a woman tells you that they have seen men get away with much worse, believe her. It is not her job to prove to you what she has encountered in her life, what she has seen with her own eyes, when the evidence is so readily available to you. Quit asking women to do the labor to make you understand what we encounter.
Carlos Ramos is a thief indeed. He stole joy. Those boos during the trophy ceremony were for him and his choices. Standing on the podium, Naomi said she was sorry for what went down, because women are trained to diffuse and assuage feelings. As I tweeted on Saturday night, “The #USOpen ladies final: where a man fucks up and a woman is the one apologizing.”
I’m so tired of it.
I thought he took a game from me. I’ve seen other men call other umpires several things. And I’m here, fighting for women’s rights and women’s equality…and for me to say, “Thief?” and for him to take a game, it made me feel like it was a sexist remark…he’s never took a game from a man for saying “thief.” For me it blows my mind! But I’m going to continue to fight for women, and to fight for us to have equal…Cornet should be able to take her shirt off without getting a fine. This is outrageous…the fact that I have to go through this is just an example for the next person that has emotions and wants to express themselves and they want to be a strong woman and they’re gonna be allowed to do that because of today. Maybe it didn’t work out for me, but it’s going to work out for the next person.
