Opening with some LCD Soundsystem, we see Tess (Ella Purnell) arrive in New York City, trying to find her way with a printed copy of Mapquest directions. Even if it’s perhaps an obvious choice, “New York, I Love You but You’re Bringing Me Down” works because Stephanie Danler’s bestselling novel never made you think Tess was going find her “Mary Tyler Moore groove.” I never thought Tess was gonna make it after all. There is always a sense of of dread, with Tess’s next mistake waiting around the corner, probably on Stanton Street on the LES.
Tess lands a job as a backwaiter, a truly entry level position. And what better way to be overwhelmed than by moving to a new city—the city—alone and undertaking a high anxiety service job. Of all the jobs I’ve had in my life, waiting tables was the one that induced the most stress dreams, with my waking up in a panic, running food and printing up tickets in my sleep. Waiting tables is delivering people plates of food, knowing that any moment you could ruin everything—or at least their entire night.
Howard did not just give you a job. He invited you to train.
We know what kind of place this is restaurant this is going to be. One with elevated cuisine and a wine list that’s a book, one that probably thinks a little too highly of itself. The manager Howard (Paul Sparks) has a bespoke suit and a bright orange pocket square that matches his silk tie. He loves foam and truffles and eating meat cooked sous vide, because this is 2006 and we haven’t heard of Richard Blais yet.
We see food and Sancerre in a proper, narrow glass. The kitchen is chaos, and pussies are eaten. Tess collapses on a sad mattress on the floor while sipping a Corona, sans lime. Feels like my 1996.
Simone’s a lot of things, but she’s not your friend.
Simone (Caitlin FitzGerald) is our antagonist. Our soft, blonde foil who savors a vintage. “It’s not a shot,” she warns. And Tess drinks.
It’s quite sweet. Sweet. Salty. Bitter.
I have a few minor quibbles with this short amuse-bouche they have given us. I need to see more cocaine (yes, I saw the ecstasy) and I need to see more smoke breaks. And I need the men—the supposed love interests—to be a little more memorable. Beige white boys in their 20s start to look alike to me.
I also need Starz to send me a case of Sancerre and fresh Wellfleets so I can watch each episode as it was meant to watched. #decadence
Sweetbitter premiers on Starz on Sunday, May 5th.
