Now this year, for the first time, I saw my first holiday commercials well before Halloween. As in, mid-October. That is obscene, and I can’t believe anyone likes Christmas enough to start getting excited about it almost three months out.
Do they start airing back-to-school commercials right after summer vacation starts? Of course not, because why would you want skip past all the fun to be had in the season you’re currently in by reminding everyone that another one is coming in a quarter of a year? But this is Christmas, the most WONDERFUL time of the year, when everything GLITTERS and everyone is MERRY.
This is one of the reasons I hate the holiday so much. I don’t want to, but when it’s harped on every single day for at least two and a half months before it gets here, it loses all it’s luster. By the time Christmas Day rolls around I’m so sick of having it shoved in my face that I’m glad when it’s over.
The cable channel Freeform airs their “25 Days of Christmas” every year, but now they’ve added a “Countdown to the 25 Days of Christmas,” which is literally just another two weeks of all the programming they show during the month of December. So it was fitting that this is the channel my TV was on when I saw the aforementioned “Way Too Early Christmas Commercial.”
You can choke on those pancakes Denny’s. I’ll admit that the cranberry orange ones sound delicious, but despite that, you are on my list. There were really no more appropriate flavors they could have come out with in the middle of October? What about Boo-berry? There you go Denny’s, you can have that one for free, as long as you take this commercial off the air until two weeks before Christmas.
Next was the commercial for Best Buy, telling us all to buy everything we already knew we could get there. Why do you assume people don’t know that Christmas is December 25th every year, Best Buy? The people who are going to be prepared early are still going to be prepared early, and the people who are going to wait until the 23rd to buy everything are still going to wait until the 23rd to buy everything. So stop ruining my October.
As I wrote this post, I had to suffer through an ad for Ferrero Rocher, the chocolates that I have never actually seen anyone eat in real life, but that everyone simply must have for their holiday party. “Celebration has arrived,” says Ferrero Rocher, and to that I respond, “The celebration will arrive when I can go back to forgetting that you exist.” Perhaps worst of all was PetSmart, informing me to get a jump on holiday shopping for my furry friends. Pets, as we all know, don’t even know what Christmas is. Lucky them.
To conclude: Yes, I am crotchety, and yes, this is all very “Get off my lawn!” But in fairness, I really do need people to stay off my lawn, because I’m trying to rake leaves, because it’s still FALL, and not the time for Christmas commercials.
When do you think they’ll start advertising Christmas next year? Labor Day?
