My first thought? Does Jamie Dornan have a twin brother I didn’t know about? My second thought was of the erotic kind because then I thought about a Double Dornan sex sandwich where I’m the meat, and they’re the bread.
But alas, the male lead wasn’t Jamie Dornan’s long lost brother from another mother. He’s Ryan Cooper.
After conducting a private investigation (i.e. I just Googled his name), I discovered the following about Mr. Cooper: He’s Australian. I stopped after that because nothing else matters. Oh, and he was the dead body in Rough Night, but I won’t go into that movie because it was awful, not funny, and he’s dead in it.
Necrophilia is just not my thing. I don’t care if the corpse has six pack abs.
But if you need to listen to his beautiful accent that the British deem “unsophisticated,” then take a moment to experience orgasm by decibel:
The way he says “avocado” at the 1:35 mark makes me want to record it and set it as every single alert tone on my phone: call, text, email, alarm, NPR breaking news.
But what else do you need to know about him? Here’s your crash course on Ryan Cooper.
He’s a Model Turned Actor
Somehow, he managed to make Abercrombie and Fitch seem less douche canoe than usual.
His modeling career is versatile: he’s mastered the “hot guy leaning against a tree” and “shirtless hot guy leaning against a tree” looks.
Does he have side abs? Is that humanly possible?
He’s Good With His Hands
I have no idea what he’s building, but that leg hitch when he was working the saw inspired my Home Depot fantasy about him. Don’t ask but let’s just say it involved the plumbing section, some quick hardening caulk, and that orange Home Depot apron.
This.
Try not to stare at this for five minutes straight. It’s virtually impossible.
He’s a Family Man
Alright, reality time. Ryan Cooper is married. Wait, let me rephrase that: Ryan Cooper is married to a freaking BEAUTIFUL woman.
But what makes Ryan Cooper the ultimate bae? He’s a hot dad.
This is the dad that all teachers pray shows up to Back to School night and wants to have a long conversation about his daughter’s reading skills or which Advance Placement classes she should take for college, or the one you wish would coach your child’s 5-6 yo soccer team just so you can contact him about “team issues” and impress him with your orange slices when it’s your turn for the team snacks.
Excuse me while I hulk smash my keyboard over this photo of his bicep bulging because he’s holding his daughter while at the Met. And the way his daughter is staring at him? On her, it’s adorable. On the rest of us, it’s just awkward and border-line creeper. But still…
Sorry not sorry.
