Practically everything my kids say makes me think of some random lyric and I spontaneously burst into song. This of course makes them crazy but if you can’t disturb and embarrass your children, why have ‘em?
Here are a few songs that have me immediately changing the station this summer. My first offender:
Niall Horan’s “Slow Hands”
The first time I heard it I thought, ooh, sexy little song. Then I really listened to the lyrics.
What the funk Niall? Laundry doesn’t sweat. Even if you are doing it on the dirty laundry, it’s still gonna absorb the sweat, there is no dripping. Why is laundry even in this song? Laundry is not sexy. I should know, I do like 8 loads a week. Next offender:
James Arthur’s “Say You Won’t Let Go”
The first time I heard this song, I had all the feels. Awww, what a beautiful song. This is a first dance for the bride and groom kind of song. But then, vomit. Yes. vomit.
James, sweetie, don’t sing about vomit in your beautiful love song. You just ruined someone’s wedding day.
Jason Derulo, repeat offender
Who doesn’t like a bad boy? A provocative song lyric can be a lot of fun, but Jason, have some finesse. You don’t have to spell it all out. Leave something to the imagination. “Talk Dirty to Me” and “Trumpets” could have been more allusive, and now the song “Swalla” is a bit crass. Here are some highlights.
Come on take a sip ’cause you know what I’m servin’, ooh
Shimmy shimmy yay, shimmy yay, shimmy ya (drank), Swalla-la-la (drank)
Swalla-la-la (swalla-la-la) Swalla-la-la
Shimmy shimmy yay, shimmy yay, shimmy ya (drank) Swalla-la-la (drank)
Swalla-la-la (swalla-la-la) Swalla-la-la
Freaky, freaky gyal.My freaky, freaky gyal
Shimmy shimmy shimmy yay, shimmy yah, Bad girls gon’ swalla-la-la”
I dig the beat but try some subtlety and innuendo, like DNCE’s “Cake by the Ocean,” or even Cyndi Lauper’s, “She Bop.”
Katy Perry’s “Swish Swish”
This one has a number of problems. I have stuck with Katy through some odd songs. Remember “Peacock?” Katie is fun and cute and I can forgive many things, but not this song.
Is she saying a new coupon is cute? This comparison is a big stretch.
The end of the song just bugs me because it contradicts itself.
“They know what is what
Do they know?
But they don’t know what is what
They just know what is what
But they don’t know what is what
They just know what is what”
I like the kiss off vibe of this song, giving heck to the haters. That’s all good, but some of these lyrics are weak. I expect more from you Katie.
There is a solution to the problem of dumb lyrics. Find a song you don’t understand because it’s not in English. I am loving “Despacito” and even found a Bieberless version because I really just can’t tolerate the Biebs. BTW my spell check totally accepted “Beiberless” as a word. I’ve never been so proud of my tech.
What songs are making you change the station this summer?
Written by Leanne
Current Obsessions: Leanne is a wife, mother of 2 and currently unemployed. Her writing has been featured at GirlBodyPride.com and The Huffington Post. She is currently avoiding writing a memoir of her summer as an exchange student. Follow her nowhere, because that would be stalking, as she does not tweet, blog or insta. She doesn’t even own a smartphone!
