We’ve reached the end of American Gods episode 6. What have we learned today kids? I had a few thoughts I’d like to share with the class:
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- Who will we be adding to our God collection in this week’s intro? I’ve got my Pokéball ready.
- I hear a Spanish trumpet. We are coming to America…crossing the border style. Could this be? No way! Mexican Jesus!?!
- …I lost track for a minute and started Googling mariachi bands for hire in case I want to use one to walk me down the aisle in my imaginary wedding.
- So they’re swimming across in “dangerous” water that looks like it might come up to mid-calf.
- Annnd Jesus is gonna walk on it. Because he’s Jesus.
- I’m 5 feet tall and I could totally touch the bottom there. Just put your feet down Jesus! No need to show off.
- Jesus comes to save the guy who can’t swim from the wading pool, just in time for everyone to get shot.
- Why couldn’t someone who can swim help? He’s, like, baby steps from the shore.
- Oh this Jesus is into the whole self-sacrifice thing, too. Of course he waits till almost everyone is dead, because he works in mysterious ways…
- So here we have our first murdered God as the episode title suggests. Who’s next?
- Jump to Mr. Wednesday and Shadow freshly escaped from their brush with the law and the new gods.
- It’s nice to see Shadow finally questioning all this crazy. Perhaps a little too late when you have a date for a skull-bashing with Czernoborg.
- You would think going to prison for dead-face Laura was a good lesson, but like Mexican Jesus, Shadow doesn’t believe in self-preservation.
- Leave it to Mr. Wednesday to drop the ultimate “Chicken or Egg” question.
- I love that he hates Laura Moon as much as I do. Drop that dead weight and move on Shadow!
- …another vision of my imaginary wedding, with my mariachi band ushering me toward Shadow (Ricky Whittle)…
- I want to find a way to work “spectrum of spectral in-between” into a conversation.
- I’m sure he is right that her return has a purpose, and I’m also sure that purpose is to give us something to hate.
- I might need to brush up on my Norse mythology, but I’m pretty sure those two squawking ravens are messengers for Odin? Or are they crows and another reference to the episode title? Do you have to have more than two crows to be a murder? I would never make it as a bird watcher. Look! Black birds! (We all know Mr. Wednesday is Odin now right? The rocket in the last episode was a pretty big clue)
- I guess Zombie Laura’s dead girl powers do not include super speed.
- Laura, back off the lonely motel dude and his John Grisham novel. You catch more flies with honey, although maybe not as many as your rotting body…
- Mad Sweeny is back for another go at reacquiring his lucky, zombie-making coin.
- I’d put her in the back, too. She has a bad track record in the passenger seat. Got any duct tape for that mouth? Safety first!
- So Mad Sweeny is going to get her a resurrection so she gives back the coin on her own? Too bad Mexican Jesus got shot at the beginning. I hope he knows one of the other versions. I wouldn’t mind meeting Swarthy Greek Jesus.
- Ahhh look! Our old buddy Salim is back and he’s looking for some more Jinn Juice!
- I’m not buying sweet little Salim’s conviction to using that gun.
- Alright. Now we have our second road trip crew to tag along with on the journey to the Murder of Gods company retreat.
- Checking in with Mr. Wednesday and Shadow in car one, where it seems Mr. W has not stopped talking since our last encounter. Is the Cadillac’s radio broken?
- Uh oh. That Charlie Brown Christmas Tree got him good. No worries! There’s a charm for that!
- “No doubt you met gentlemen in the slammer who slicked their shiv with shit before they shanked their rival.” –Mr. Wednesday’s quotation of the night. Say that 5 times fast.
- Of course, Dr. Wednesday’s cure involves waxing poetic until he can coax out the MASSIVE TENTACILED TREE ALIEN THING from Shadow’s perfectly chiseled abdomen.
- This show is doing nothing to dispel my phobia of spooky trees that I’ve had since I watched Poltergeist when I was 8.
- Back to car two where Salim has the role of chatty Cathy. The taxi doesn’t have a radio either?
- Zombie Laura and Salim are bonding over ditching their old lives.
- We learn Laura SHOCKINGLY has no emotional connection to her mother. <Heavy sarcasm, in case you missed it.
- There’s no telling what flammable chemicals are being used to preserve her. Is smoking really the best idea?
- Cue the road trip map sequence as we check back with car one, on their way to…Pollution Town!
- We meet Richard Millar who is so happy going about his day that it requires The Partridge Family classic Come on Get Happy just to drive the point home.
- He’s totes gonna die.
- What do we have for Mr. Miller’s demise? A plunge into a nice vat of some molten hot lava-like substance where he will be promptly melted into bullets.
- Anyone else having a nostalgic moment remembering those short films Mr. Rogers would show of crayon and candle making factories? This is basically the same thing.Source
- I am taking Vulcan, VA right off the list of places to visit.
- I thought that was one of those miniature replicas of a town until they drove into it. It is eerily too perfect.
- Where is everyone? Probably dead from all the smog coming from the bullet factory.
- Oh hey! A town full of people I poofed from my Facebook around election time. Sometimes I wish that delete button erased people in the real world.
- I’m concerned Shadow’s dark skin won’t be welcome in Vulcan. He’s already been lynched once in this series!
- So, accidental death counts as a sacrifice? I thought the point of a sacrifice was to give up something you love? Like the prized calf maybe, or when the strongest warrior in the village volunteers as tribute. Faulty railing seems to cheapen the goods to me?
- Yep. I had to back up to make sure. Mexican Jesus WAS killed with a Vulcan bullet!
- Who needs a 21 gun salute when you can have an ALL THE GUNS salute!
- What goes up must come down. They’re never gonna buffer all those dents out of the caddy. Somehow Mr. Wednesday and his buddy Vulcan (Corbin Bernsen), the seeming mayor/ruler/god of our creepy little Virginia town, remain unharmed.
- I just went through a few hundred versions of I Put a Spell on You looking for that one. If someone finds it @ me.
- Wait, wait. This guy gets off on human sacrifice and you think you’re going to bribe him with a bottle of booze? That may make me more pliable, but we’re talking about a god.
- Mr. Wednesday running around bribing his god buddies is how I picture our president (AKA the great and powerful orange overlord) traipses about gaining support from his comrades.
- On that note, back to zombie squad in car two making a pit stop back at the bar where we first met Mad Sweeny.
- I keep getting Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas vibes from this show. The gator in the background and this bar reminds me of the reptile hallucination scene.Source
- “Shame is the reason dead people only go out at night.” Like she’s an expert now because she had a 5 minute chat with Anubis? Come on lady.
- You would think Laura would let someone else make some decisions for a change. She already got her husband put in prison and got herself dead. You sucked at life, maybe take a backseat in death?
- Well if she’s feeling homesick, albeit a veiled inkling of feeling, maybe there are human emotions somewhere in that cold corpse.
- Maybe Shadow has a bit of the Jinn Juice sex power? Or something even more juicy? Could this be the key to her resurrection?
- Zombie Training 101: always carry Tic Tacs. They’re like condoms for dead-girl breath.
- She WOULD like anal sex. That’s probably how deep you have to get to make her feel anything at all.
- Let’s see how our boys are doing at the house of Vulcan.
- Where we have a hanging tree right there in the yard! Shadow is not amused.
- We learn that Mr. Wednesday has sacrificed himself before, and Shadow glances back at the sinister hanging tree. Finally putting some pieces together, perhaps?
- That tree looks a lot like those bone yard trees from his dreams…
- Guns are tiny volcanoes? This guy has a pretty sweet gig in this gun-obsessed world we live in.
- “I was on the bus before you painted it yellow.” Shadow won’t have to put his melon on the bashing block this time. It almost seemed too easy…
- All Mr. Wednesday needs now is a volcano forged blade. I’m interested to see what purpose that could serve. One blade to rule them all!
- Ah maybe Shadow wasn’t making the Odin connection I thought. His feelings are hurt by all the hanging talk after his Tech Boy run-in.
- UGHHHHH and he is still stuck on Zombie Laura.
- No Shadow. She can’t feel the cold. You could show your dead wife YouTube videos of baby seals being clubbed to death and she would still have that look on her face, dead or alive.
- So her breath doesn’t fog up the glass, but she has no issue inhaling a cigarette?
- And we drove all the way back to Indiana for…no apparent reason.
- Vulcan makes Mr. Wednesday his blade, and has also betrayed him to the new gods.
- The new gods revived his faithful following by giving him guns to mass market his sacrifices. Clever.
- Good advice Mr. Vulcan. I think Wednesday’s about to get that blood sacrifice he needs…
- Vulcan gets to experience his own lava soak, complete with a urine bath bomb curse.
- Roll the “Mr. Rogers How to Make a Bullet” reel on more time.
- So Vulcan bullets can kill Mexican Jesus, and swords forged by a god and wielded by Odin can kill Vulcan? Just establishing the rules of this universe we are visiting.
- One final check in with our other travelers for a little prayer session.
- I was really hoping for a magic carpet ride with his Jinn boyfriend into the sunset when I saw the glimpse of his prayer rug.
- “Life is great,” says the dead girl who never lived.
All photos courtesy of Starz.
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WRITTEN BY NIKKI L
Current Obsessions: Someone at the University of Arkansas thought she had spent enough time and money there to give her a literature degree. She probably deserved it, but growing up in the autocorrect age, who really knows anymore? She is on an eternal quest to find the next book or television series that makes her put down social media for 15 minutes or more. Follow her on Twitter @nikkithump1
