Do: STEP AWAY FROM GOOGLE!
Unless you Googled best blogs ever and ended up here, BUT proceed with caution from now on. Over the last 22 weeks I have diagnosed myself with cancer, a rare liver condition, and have been absolutely convinced something terrible has happened to the little alien taking up the space where my bladder used to be. The internet can be a cesspool of misinformation and bad advice. You had random itches before you were pregnant, too. Sometimes a mole is just a mole. Keep a list of your concerns and ask your doctor at the next appointment (which are once a month in the beginning, so you’ll have plenty of opportunity).
Do: talk to friends who have taken this journey before you
A lot has changed since your moms and grandmas did this (no offense Mom, or Nanny, or Grams). I am not saying they are not incredible resources, but things like breastfeeding were probably taboo when they had you. They will have no clue when you throw words at them like Rock n’ Play or DockaTot. They will laugh when you mention prenatal yoga. They will FREAK OUT when you tell them the doctor said a glass of wine every now and then is fine. If you have mommy friends with kids who are only a few months or years ahead of you, things are just a little fresher in their minds. Learn from all of their mistakes! Trust me, they made them.
Do: check out private Facebook groups for moms
Pick out a few. I personally like ones with members who I have never met in my life, and am not likely to. It is comforting to know when I have a question about funky discharge, or how to shave when I can no longer see my lady bits (let alone my toes), nobody I know in the real world will hear about it. I get a TON of feedback from women who either have helpful advice, or can at least relate. Also find a local group. You might have a few mutual friends in these, but they are great for finding the best pediatricians or daycares in your area.
DO NOT: take too much medical advice from these groups
I know when you’re in the middle of binge watching Grey’s Anatomy you might forget that you have real doctors who spent a lot of time and money on fancy degrees to tell you you’re overacting, but they (for the most part) know what they’re doing.
It’s cool if you’re having a little cramp here or there and want to see if “That’s Normal” or not. A few words of comfort can keep you from freaking out. However, if you are in real pain or bleeding CALL YOUR DOCTOR. That’s why you have one. Listen to your body. It will let you know if something is not right.
Do: Learn the lingo
Some social media terms and abbreviations you might want to learn while attempting to communicate on any mommy group.
LO- Little One
SO- Significant Other
EBF-Exclusively Breast Fed
DH/DD/DS-Dear Husband/Dear Daughter/Dear Son
Following- I can’t answer your question, but want to follow the responses you get from others.
Bump- I don’t have an answer, but wanted to help bump your question to the top before it gets buried by other questions. (P.S. this has nothing to do with a baby bump)
Do: Pinterest
Confession time: For years I have been screaming at all my crafty friends who build bird houses out of Popsicle sticks and cook things, “I AM NOT PINTERESTED!”
It turns out getting knocked up changes your perspective pretty fast. Pinterest has become my personal Mommy 101 crash course. Just type “baby” in the search bar and you’ll find answers to questions you didn’t even know to ask: Decoding Baby Snot (for real), 5 Surprising Way to Prevent Tearing at Birth, 10 Classy Pregnancy Announcement Ideas. For that last one I went with a picture of our first ultra sound on a record, since the boyfriend and I are into the music scene!
DO NOT: stress out
It isn’t good for either of you. If you are fortunate enough to have a significant other around for support, use them! If not, find someone who WILL be there for you. Build your own support tribe if you can. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Remember you won’t be able to do a lot of things you could before, like enjoy raw fish or bend over, or shave certain places. They tell me it’s all worth it in the end… I’ll let you know.
Written by Nikki L
Current Obsessions: Someone at the University of Arkansas thought she had spent enough time and money there to give her a literature degree. She probably deserved it, but growing up in the autocorrect age, who really knows anymore? She is on an eternal quest to find the next book or television series that makes her put down social media for 15 minutes or more. Follow her on Twitter @nikkithump1
