This week started off with Bryan running through the forest all decked out and ready for action. He is still haunted by the death of his sister, which causes him to lose touch with reality. Not really a good trait to have when trying to save the world from all manner of bad guys. While on a rescue mission, Bryan plows through multiple heavily armed baddies while trying to save the hostage who, as luck would have it, looks remarkably like his sister. Turns out this is just a training exercise, but Bryan beats one of the hostage takers, played by a member of Delta force, to a bloody pulp. Bryan is definitely not ready.
But even with this gaff, Hart still sees potential and keeps him on the team. Much has been made about Bryan’s particular set of skills, but has anyone actually defined what they are? I have some ideas.
Computer hacking skills
Carlos Meija, the man who murdered Bryan’s sister, is being held by Christina in a shipping box on a nondescript shipping boat, er, ship somewhere in the ocean. Most likely in international waters. She is using him to get intel on other terrorists throughout the world. Of course, he is cooperating. She communicates with her team member there via computer link. When Bryan discovers this, he is able to download the super secret live feed to a super duper device that makes it possible for him to view the feed from the comfort of his own living room which he immediately shows off to Asha, who is rightfully appalled. If this is his idea of foreplay, then we need to talk.
Single handedly bringing an end to extreme manscaping skills
Praise be to the director, Michael Offer, for providing us with an excuse to objectify a shirtless Bryan Mills – furry chest and all. There really doesn’t need to be much said about this. So just enjoy the eye candy.
We want more of this.
Night vision skills
While preventing an assassination attempt on a murderer that he just knocked off a building, Bryan expertly shoots two would be assassins in a hospital basement. In the dark. Because, of course, he can.
Vampire slaying skills
Not one to just use bullets to take down his opponents, Bryan also draws from his little known career as a vampire slayer to incapacitate more assassins. He snaps a broom handle in half and plunges it into the chest of one of his assailants. I was very disappointed when he didn’t immediately turn to dust.
Making 4 button Henley shirts look good skills
Bryan is a simple man with simple fashion tastes. So simple, in fact, that his closet is full of 4 button Henley shirts in ever neutral colour. But, hey, we get a glimpse of that glorious chest hair, so I’m ok with that.
What other skills do you think Bryan possesses?
