Yes, I mean Deadpool.
Ryan Reynolds returns as America’s favorite merc with the mouth in a NSFW three minute teaser that reminded all of us that the wrong Ryan was nominated for this year’s Oscars.
There’s so much cinematic brilliance in this teaser – which is longer than an actual movie trailer that when they do finally release the trailer for Deadpool 2 , I expect it to be at least a half an hour long – where does one even begin?
So, here are my thoughts while watching Deadpool – No Good Deed.
But wait, there’s more: if you’re reading this post thinking that I’m about to point out Easter eggs in the teaser and how the producers are hinting at a Cable spin-off and what could the Firefly posters really mean, sorry. This isn’t the post for you. If you’re here to see screenshots of Ryan’s asscheeks pressed up against a telephone booth, welcome my friend.
30 Thoughts I Had While Watching Deadpool – No Good Deed
- Why does no one pick up trash in these movies? I mean, c’mon. Think green.
- “Man in Motion” is the most underrated song from the 1980s. And you’re welcome because you know you have it stuck in your head RIGHT NOW.
- I’d still hit it. I don’t care if he looks like a golden California raisin.
- Ryan would make an amazing Cards Against Humanity partner.
- Oh shit, it’s the Superman theme. Please let Henry Cavill be in that phone booth and they run into each other AND FALL IN LOVE.
- Why doesn’t anyone ever see Clark Kent change in the phone booth? Does he wear the suit under his clothes? Where does he keep his suit? In the closet next to his rotating tie holder?
- “Not on my watch, motherfucker.” I say the same thing when someone grabs an extra cheese sample at Trader Joe’s.
- I know I should be paying attention to the old man begging for help, but when Ryan Reynolds is taking off his clothes in a phone booth, everything magically dissipates. He’s a Canadian wizard.
- My wish to see Ryan’s naked ass in a phone booth finally came true. My next wish? Jamie Dornan full frontal nudity cooking class.
- How much does a call cost nowadays?
- Wait, are there still telephone booths?
- I’m so screwed if I ever have to use a telephone booth: the only phone number I have memorized is my parents’ and that’s because it was my childhood phone.
- This ass shot is still going on. Never END. Do it for humanity.
- Shit, it ended.
- Struggling to put on your costume in a phone booth? Welcome to my world when I try on new jeans at The Gap.
- Does that say, “Nathan Summers, cumming soon”?
- [Pauses clip and looks up Nathan Summers] Who the shit is Cable?
- For a guy who shot people in the forehead and ran over a guy with a Zamboni, his phone etiquette is quite commendable.
- Not going to lie, I may have piddle myself with that gunshot sound effect.
- I’m going to ship Stan Lee and Betty White together. It’s time. #Stetty
- I think the 8th deadly sin is telling Stan Lee to shut up.
- I really need to download “Man in Motion” and add it to my running playlist.
- This reminds me how St. Elmo’s Fire is literally the WORST. Seriously. Yuppie white people problems mixed with Rob Lowe’s mullet. Source
- This is really how Batman v. Superman should have ended.
- I imagine this is what sporking with Ryan is like.
- Cherry Garcia? Ew. It’s all about Half Baked.
- I’ve found my new porn: Ryan Reynolds and an Australian accent. Say g’day to my vagina, Mr. Reynolds.
- Um, what does The Old Man and The Sea have to do with Deadpool? Ohhhh, shit! Is the ghost of John Steinbeck going to be the villain?!
- Not going to lie: if I had a student turn this in as book report, I’d give him at least a C for effort.
- Wait. That’s how Red Lobster was founded? Mind blown.
