That’s right. I’m talking about the Golden Globes.
Now this year, I was more than invested in the GG, and it wasn’t because of a certain fandom’s relentless campaign for a certain actress from a show that only received one nomination. Sorry, Outlander fans. A Claire won, but it wasn’t your Claire.
No, I was ready for Sunday night’s telecast because the object of my affection, Jimmy Fallon, was the host. Was he the safer choice after last year’s host, Ricky Gervais, practically made all of Hollywood shake in their full body Spanx? Sure. But who cares when you have an opening where Ryan Reynolds shoots a LifeSaver into Jimmy’s mouth.
Last year, I wrote about what I learned about life from the award ceremony that is basically a high school rally, where all the popular kids (*cough* film actors *cough*) sit in front and the band nerds and drama geeks* (*cough* television actors *cough*) sit near the bathrooms. Well, I believe you never stop learning, and the 74th annual Golden Globes didn’t disappoint.
*Before you angry tweet me, yes, I was both a band nerd and drama geek. Don’t believe me? I can still play a b-scale like a bitch on my flute, and I played Cressida in Troilus and Cressida where I made out with some random guy in front of my whole family. Every girl’s dream.
Here’s just some more of my ah-ha moments from this year’s Golden Globes. Read fast because they are relentless with that cut off music.
Golden Globe Ah-Ha #1: Ryan Reynolds Losing Makes Us All Winners
It was one of those moments that if you blinked or were tweeting your anger over Ryan Reynolds not winning best actor in a motion picture comedy or drama, you missed it. But welcome to the magic of technology and its gift to the world: the GIF.
Andrew Garfield and Ryan Reynolds just made your MM fanfic come to life and it was TRUE ART.
If this is how Ryan Reynolds reacts to losing, I plan on submitting his name for the following: the Nobel Peace Prize, the Pulitzer Prize, California Teacher of the Year, and Best New Artist at the Latin Grammys. Will he win? Hell no, and I plan on sitting my ass right next to him when his name isn’t called.
Golden Globe Ah-Ha #2: Ryan Gosling is Relationship Goals
Just when you thought the guy we all call “Noah” and who inspired us to send “Hey, Girl” memes to our friends couldn’t get any better, you were wrong:
From calling his partner, Eva Mendes, “my lady” to dedicating his award to the memory of her late brother, this Ryan reminded us why we still unapologetically YouTube the kissing in rain scene from The Notebook or the “Big Move” scene from Crazy Stupid Love.
Golden Globe Ah-Ha #3: 2017 is the Rise of the Younger Sibling
For centuries, the younger sibling has been designated to the shadow of the first born, the perpetual “spare” to the “heir.” I, myself, am a younger sibling and although I love my brother, I didn’t always love “Hey, you’re Mark’s little sister.” I’m in my 30s and some people still refer to me as “Mark’s little sister.” Sure, I’m only 5’4″ but that’s not the point.
But at this year’s GG, we younger siblings had our time to shine when Casey Affleck, otherwise known as “Hey, you’re Ben’s little brother” won the Best Actor award for Manchester by the Sea.
But the true beauty of this moment is what Casey didn’t say during his acceptance speech, a speech that included a shout out to Matt Damon, Amazon, and pretty much everyone including your dentist. Here to tell you what was left out is Casey’s older brother.
How do you like them apples, Ben?
Golden Globe Ah-Ha #4: To Be Overrated is to be Beautiful
No doubt by now, you’ve heard Meryl Streep’s lifetime achievement acceptance speech. Not only did you hear it, you’ve found your favorite moments, tweeted them out, and used it as your “About Me” on Instagram. And you should because it was that brilliant.
Jamie W. already wrote about how brilliant this moment was and how we needed it more than ever. I loved the fact that not once did she mention PEOTUS’ actual name, but that didn’t stop the Donald from sneaking his phone away from the vault Kellyanne Conway has it most likely locked up in and tweeting out as fast as his Vienna sausage fingers could type:
Meryl Streep, one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood, doesn't know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes. She is a…..
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 9, 2017
First it was calling Secretary Hillary Clinton a “nasty woman”, which in turn made millions of American women proudly and boldly declare to be Nasty Women. Now, it’s “overrated.” If Meryl Streep – a woman who essentially exemplifies true talent and grace – is overrated, then I hope to be as overrated as she is someday.
