We fangirled when it was announced that Emma Watson would be donning the iconic yellow ballgown and dreaming of a provincial life. When the cast was announced, I lost my damn mind. Don’t even get me started when they released the teaser trailer.
But my ecstatic squeals reached an all-time elevated pitch that only a self-centered prince turned into a horn-rimmed beast could hear when Entertainment Weekly previewed their next cover:
This. Is. Happening. The dress. The horns. The embroidery. I even geeked over the enchanted rose in the “e” and vow to draw one over every single “i” and in every “e” until the film’s release.
And if the cover made me practically run to the Disney Store for my own official Belle princess ballgown (Sold in only children sizes, so there goes my reenactment of “Be Our Guest” with my IKEA candlesticks and Starbucks Christmas mugs), imagine what the other photos are going to do to my sanity.
Emma Watson as Belle
Remember when we first heard about Emma Watson trading her Hogwarts robe for Belle’s blue smock? Remember when people immediately started photoshopping her head on every Belle body?
Nailed it.
As a B&B fan, you have certain expectations for a live production. You hope that they get Le Fou’s Chiclets teeth just right. Pray that they don’t make the Beast look like this:
Nice beast moobs.
And if they don’t get the yellow ballgown just right, you swear you will burn the world down.
I consider this image alone to be director Bill Condon’s mic drop.
Any expectations that I had for Belle are nothing compared to this image alone. All of my future life moments, I want them to happen while I wear this dress, even if it’s just going to the store to buy tampons.
Who cares when you can twirl like this?
Dan Stevens as The Beast
Okay, I’m going to admit it: Dan Stevens at the Beast is making me question my repulsion to beastiality. Don’t judge me. I’m a sucker for beards and a beast man with a book in his paws hands.
Also, it’s totally normal to wish that he doesn’t turn back, right? Whatever.
Luke Evans as Gaston
I know that I’m supposed to loathe Gaston. He’s despicable, self-centered, close-minded, misogynistic and possibly a steroid addict who may or may not be into kink.
But Luke Evans as Gaston is making me want to swipe right on this villain. I blame the cheekbones and the ruffled shirt.
Also, this isn’t a photo from the production. This is what actually happens when Luke Evans enters any bar. #truestory
The Wait Staff
Does anyone else think that it’s a really dick move that the witch didn’t just put a spell over the prince, but the entire wait staff as well, including a child? What did they do wrong? Not tell the prince to stop being a royal douchebag before offering him another cup of tea? And to make it worse, she based each of her transformations on stereotypes. I would hate to see what she would do to a gynecologist.
But this March, Ian McKellan, Emma Thompson, Ewan McGregor, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw transform into the Prince’s steadfast employees with the propensity of breaking out into song and dance when meeting someone new.
If you’re going to have inanimate objects talk and sing to you and it’s not the result of drugs or that fifth martini, then let it look like them.
Can we also take a moment to fangirl about how adorable Mrs. Potts (Emma Thompson) is? It’s almost enough to make me start drinking tea. Almost. No talking teapot and her chipped teacup son could make me completely give up my Starbucks cold brew.
