Millennials are the worst
So, Chapter Eight left us with Audrey, Lee, and Monet running through the woods. At the very end, a Pig Man is seen knocking on the front door. This episode starts with seeing three Millennials running around the woods looking for the Roanoke house. One of those kids was the fabulous Taissa Farmiga coming back for a hot second as most AHS actors do.
Sophie (Taissa), Milo (Jon Bass), and Todd (Jacob Artist) all run a My Roanoke Nightmare fan site. They decided to go and find the house and like Sidney decided to film every single thing they can. Starting out we see poor Alyssa, Sidney’s dearly departed assistant, running around confused about what happened to her. The kids (I feel so old writing that) tried to help her but in the end just found her dead body. The police are once again, zero help. They threaten to arrest the kids if they go back to the house, but those damn kids go right back to the house. Because seeing a ghost walking around and then finding said ghost’s very real and very dead body isn’t enough for them; I blame the internet for those idiots.
Can These Idiots Just Go Away?
Audrey and Lee decide to go back to the Polk’s house because they have tapes of Audrey killing Mama and Lee admitting to killing Mason. Not that Audrey knows about the confession. Dylan (Wes Bentley) shows up in the Pig Man costume. At first, he doesn’t seem to grasp the reality of the shit show he’s been cast on. But after getting real up close and personal to the corpses of Dominick and Shelby, he jumps into SEAL mode and motivates his troops into getting the hell out of the house.
Instead of just peacing out, they talk him into going back to the Polk’s to “look for Monet.” An excellent excuse, but we all know it’s because Lee HAS to get that tape. For her, there is no purpose in surviving if she can’t be with her daughter after everything is said and done.
Ironically, they find Monet in there and Audrey saves her while grabbing the video camera. Dylan dies, and Lee runs off into the woods.
Audrey and Monet end up back at the house for the final night of the blood moon. They watch the camera and find out that Lee did, in fact, kill Mason.
Millennials are annoying, but damn that was harsh
Lee is crawling around in the woods when Scathach comes to her and makes her an offer she simply cannot refuse. Basically, the same thing she offered The Butcher with the pig’s heart. Lee gobbles up that heart and then we know some serious bad shit is about to happen.
Todd sees Lee and thinks she needs help. She does, just not the medical kind. She quickly kills Todd, much to Sophie and Milo’s dismay. They go running off but are at some point captured by the Colonists.
You know when American Horror Story has to show an ADDITIONAL viewer warning something horrific is going to happen. And happen, it did. Lee takes over as The Butcher and demands a blood sacrifice to the moon. The Colonists proceed to stake Sophie and Milo and then burn them alive. Sounds terrible right? It was way worse to watch. Not the worst thing I watched late at night this week, but definitely up there.
There’s that Twist
Somehow, the police know to show up well after the kids are burned alive, even though they claimed someone from the internet said they watched them getting killed live on the web and called the police for help. I doubt this handy little claim; 1) both bodies have been completely burned, 2) the additional warning said the footage was found in Todd’s icloud account. Either way,the police show up, see the dead kids, see Dylan’s dead body, find Monet dead inside the house, find Lee alive but confused outside the house, and then find Audrey in the root cellar.
Audrey snatches a cop’s gun tries to kill Lee, prompting the police to kill her. She made it through the blood moon, but not through her anger with Lee. So now Lee is our only survivor.
What about Flora?
I’ve had a bunch of people asking me about who the lone survivor of Roanoke would be. I still say, Flora. At this point, Lee could die somehow and Flora would one of the very few people to survive that house. But remember, they planned on killing her last.
What I want to see next
- More Gaga
- Matt Bomer (just cause he’s real pretty)
- The end of this depressing show. For now.
