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“Dead Men Tell No Tales”: The Trailer for the 100 % Necessary “Pirates” Movie

in Disney on 10/04/16 by Jamie W 3 Comments

I‘ll just say right off the bat that nobody is more disappointed that Disney has decided to make a fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie than me. The first one, The Curse of the Black Pearl, is one of my all time favorite movies. I love it. I even really liked the second one, but the third one was admittedly very complicated. Even director Gore Verbinski admitted that there was way too much to keep track of in that one.

Even though I wasn’t excited for it because both Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom were missing, I saw the fourth Pirates movie, On Stranger Tides, when it came out. There were a few positives: it had mermaids. It was also Sam Claflin’s first big role, something for which we should all be thankful.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDESSource

It became apparent however that even though Jack Sparrow is a great character, he needs “normal” characters around him for his schtick to work. Two hours of zany Jack Sparrow running around Jack Sparrow-ing somehow isn’t as entertaining, and it really does need to be broken up by stretches of sanity. But as long as these movies continue to make a ton of money, which On Stranger Tides did, they’re going to continue being made. So here we are, with a teaser trailer for the fifth movie in the franchise, Dead Men Tell No Tales.

I’m curious to know whether this was always going to be the first trailer, or if the decision was made more recently not to show Johnny Depp due to the recent domestic abuse accusations made by his now ex-wife Amber Heard. (She was awarded a $7 million settlement, which she donated to several charities.)  Though it doesn’t seem like Disney is all that concerned about people staying away from the movie. When asked about it, Disney CEO Bob Iger said he was “Not worried about it,” and that whether or not the story dies down, “We have Jack Sparrow.” So…there’s that.

Whether it was the original intention or not, Jack Sparrow is not in this trailer, and is only referred to by name by Javier Bardem’s character Captain Salazar. A man who has clearly seen better days. He has this creepy look like he’s floating underwater at all times, which is especially visible when you look at his hair. It’s unclear exactly how he got this way or what kind of creature he’s supposed to be, but that will obviously be revealed at some point in the future. The undead element is a familiar one in these movies and is something the franchise has done before, and I guess if it ain’t broke…

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Taking he helm as directors this go around are Espen Sandberg and Joachim Rønning, Norwegian filmmaking partners. I haven’t seen anything that they’ve done, so I can’t speak to their style or what the movie might be like based on their other work. Cinematographically speaking, I think the footage in the trailer looks beautiful and the locations used in these movies have always lent themselves to that.

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The only other person featured in the trailer is this guy, a character named Henry. Not Geoffrey Rush, who’s going to reprise his role as Captain Barbossa again. Someone who is completely new and therefore completely unrecognizable. I don’t understand the choices that were made in this trailer.

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It’s not confirmed that Henry is Will and Elizabeth’s son from the end credits scene in the third movie, but they’re not exactly keeping it a secret either and I’m telling you that he definitely is. Clue #1: he’s handsome as hell, and he had to get those good looks from somewhere. Just look at them. At the very least this kid is going to have one hell of a smolder.

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Clue #2: we know that Orlando Bloom is back in this movie as Will Turner and that the actor who plays Henry said this about his character’s journey in the movie,

It’s about a young man who wants to reconnect with his father, Davy Jones. There’s a curse that prevents him from doing that. I think it’s about how he goes around that and tries to fix it and he has to save his dad.

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You’ll recall that Will became the Captain of the Flying Dutchman after Davy Jones was killed. So yeah, this is his kid.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is due out May 2017, and as much as I just talked about how this trailer was kind of underwhelming and the fact that the movie as a whole is unnecessary, I’ll probably end up seeing it. I’m sure lots of other people worldwide are going to end up seeing it too. Well played Disney, you win again.

Which was the last Pirates movie that you enjoyed before being kind of done with this franchise? Are you even going to see this one?

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About Jamie W

Jamie W's Current Obsessions: The Man from U.N.C.L.E. The beach. Tom Hiddleston and the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Buying new books without reading the ones she already has. Harry Potter and The Hunger Games. Trying to buy more than just sweatpants when she goes shopping. Follow her on Twitter @jamiewhitebread

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