You can’t scroll your through your Facebook feed (wait … why are you scrolling through your Facebook feed, it’s election season and that is nonsense) without feeling the serious FOMO that is everyone getting all jacked up on it, while you are just going through your adult life: work and exercise and avocados and reading non-fiction and paying bills on time.
But, no. You can’t just be a productive member of society, liking the television shows you’ve always liked, spending meaningful time with friends once a week while spending the rest of it replenishing your fluids and meditating. No. You have no choice. You HAVE to get hooked on what everyone else is smoking.
The Newest Netflix Original Series
House of Cards
It started out innocently enough. Someone told you about House of Cards in 2013, and you were like, “Ok. Kaven Spacey is headlining this ‘politics are terrifying’ show. I can get in on that.” You took your first hit.
It was alright. Until you start noticing that folks are pressed when you haven’t gotten to the major spoiler in the first episode of season 2, so they can’t talk to you about it, and they keep pressuring you to WATCH FASTER until you feel kind of bullied into not watching at all.
Status: Still in the middle of season 2 of House of Cards; will maybe come back to it when the apocalypse election cycle is over
Orange is the New Black
Everyone with a vagina was basically ordered to watch OitNB when it debuted in 2013. And it was ok. I hated Piper, and while I was much more interested in some of the other inmates’ inner lives and stories, we kept being subjected to her whiny ass. I get it. She wrote the book.
But the peer pressure to LOVE it was heated with words like ground-breaking, so we all watched. Well, I did until mid-season 3. Then I could just not take it anymore.
I guess sometimes I do.
Status: Will never watch s3 – s7 of this show; clinging to my memories of Taystee loving Harry Potter.
Arrested Development: Season 4
I’m sorry, what?
Status: See above
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Finally someone starts pushing something you can’t wait to take a hit of. OR in true addictive fashion, you’ve gotten used to this EVERY EPISODE COMES AT YOU AT ONCE thing, and you need it to feed you. So not only do you know exactly WHEN this Tina Fey vehicle is headed to your Apple TV, you made an alert on your calendar, and you took two days off work to watch the whole season in one go. Twice.
It was worth it. But then you did the same thing with season 2, and it was … not. This is not the good stuff anymore.
Me: Only watched 2 episodes of season 2, and am ok with that decision
Sense8
Then comes that perfect show, that perfect Netflix Original that puts all others to shame and that you can watch over and over and over again and never tire of. So what you’re saying is Sense8 is my particular brand of heroin? Yes, yes. Exactly that.
THIS IS FINALLY what everyone has been telling you would happen if you just opened yourself up to the immediate binge watch. It was glorious. It was everything.
But there is not enough Sense8 on Netflix to sustain you. NOOOOOOoooooOoOOoOoOOooo.
Status: Seriously jonesing for season 2. Like losing it a little bit every day.
Jessica Jones
Ok, ok. You can breath a little bit knowing that Sense8 was renewed. Your baby will be back. In the meantime, here’s a hot new Marvel property that is less spandex warrior and more feminist, complicated, sex-positive badass lady heroine kicking ass.
It was great. Now will someone please hustle with season 2 already?
Status: Need another hit, but not as bad as I need more Sense8
Stranger Things
All this has led me to the peer pressure I’ve been feeling to binge watch Stranger Things. Here’s a list of all the things you’ve heard from your twitter buddies since Stranger Things dropped its first season onto your Netflix New Releases.
- The soundtrack will make you miss Thursday nights in The Cove, man.
- Barb’s outfits will make you cry they are so mom-accurate
- Steve’s hair defies gravity AND reminds you of Jean Ralphio
- If you love ET, The Clash, Goonies and Aliens, you HAVE NO CHOICE
- I thought you were a Winona Ryder fan!
- Whoever designed the title card read a shitton of Choose Your Own Adventure novels and those were ALL OUR JAM.
- EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT and that was perfectly fine for every Heather to say in every 80s movie ever so it should be fine for you too.
Peer pressure, man. So 80s.
Of course, the masses are totally right this time. Stranger Things is currently filling up my date night time, and my husband and I are loving it. I think they’ve finally perfected the formula. We’re addicted and … we are total pushers.
Status: on episode 5 and not gonna stop til they make me episode 8
How irritated do you get when people push Netflix series on you? Do you cave? What have been your favorite series so far?
