I downloaded the JetSmarter App so you don’t have to

I recently saw a casual post by actress Ashley Benson on Facebook mentioning her new favorite app Jetsetter- the app for rich people who aren’t quite rich enough to own their own plane. Jetsetter- it’s like Uber, except for people who would never ride in a Hyundai. Jetsetter- for when you’re just too damn lazy to use the guy you pay to book your travel. Jetsetter – it’s like being a “normal” person because you’re booking a service with a smart phone- but rest assured, you’re still much richer than any REAL normal person.

Yes, you’re right. I couldn’t choose my favorite opening line, so I gave you all my options.

A video posted by Shay Mitchell (@shaym) on Apr 16, 2016 at 12:10pm PDT

What’s JetSmarter? Basically, Jay-Z partnered with the Saudi royal family because, of course he did, to finance an app to bring the luxury style of private plans to you and me. I mean you and me if we could afford a $14,000 flight.

I took one for the team and bought the app (it was free) to bring you this inside investigation:

Membership

Membership offers benefits like complimentary seats on flights when available. Options to book a seat on a shared charter (So if there is a plane leaving from your home base going to where you want to with empty seats, you could get a discounted rate at the last minute. ) There are helicopter transfers in select cities because uber rich people don’t take car service (anymore). Plus, of course, there’s a 24k Gold plated membership card.

You also have to be a member, so I don’t know why they call it membership other than they want to make it seem like anyone could book a last minute shuttle or helicopter from Manhattan to the Hamptons just because it’s their birthday and it’s really only $425 per person, but you can’t. You must first pay the $10,000 membership fee, plus the $5,000 “initiation” fee and then book your shuttle.

Are there Deals?

Yes. If you want to take a helicopter from West 30th street in NYC to Southampton next Sunday, your first seat is Free. And there is 1 FREE seat left on a Gulfstream IV SP leaving from NYC to LA at 6 pm on the 23rd. Going quick kids, pay your $15k so you can get your free seat 10 days from now.

I can see the appeal. I mean, if tomorrow you and your 2 bffs are tired of your summer vaca in the Hamptons, you can book 3 seats on a Citation X leaving at 6 pm and fly for FREE to West Palm Beach for a few days to Daddy’s other house!

I want to go to LA tomorrow

Don’t we all. There are options. From my closest airport (Philadelphia) to Santa Monica (one of the palces where the private planes land in LA) I can rent a whole aircraft for as cheap as $31,100 and as expensive as $84,200.

I know what you’re thinking. Is the $84k plane stocked with hot men who will get you off for the 4 hour and 35 minute flight?

No. But they DO have a VCR.

Seriously, that’s listed in the amenities. They also have a fax machine.

The Gulfstream V can fit 16 of your friends while the $31k Citation X can only fit a measley 8. And unless it was forgotten in the list of amenities, it doesn’t have a bathroom. Um, I might have to sit in the middle of row 44, but for a mere $249 I don’t have to hold my pee on a Southwest flight.

What sort of snacks are provided?

#Repost @fergie ・・・ A big shout out to my friends at #JetSmarter who made my life work out so much easier this week. I love this APP, the only way to book private jets. Xx @letsjetsmarter #getreadyjetgo

A video posted by JetSmarter (@letsjetsmarter) on May 30, 2016 at 9:04am PDT

Looks like cracker barrel cheese and rolls to me.

And a little something for all you moms…

Sidenote: if you’re going to get free plane rides in exchange for an ad– MAKE BETTER VIDEOS

Stars: They travel JUST like you + me!

Can you afford the JetSmarter rates?

Please, leave a comment letting us know so we can come punch you in the face.*

*Kidding

_{not kidding}