*******Spoiler Alert – I’m going to talk about the show and EVERYTHING that happened. Here’s another puppy picture**********
Here’s a picture of my puppy and my Devil Kitty chilling out together. They love each other.
Alexandria, it’s the next Mayberry
So, in Twice as Far we watch as Alexandria goes about it’s daily business. Morgan is making his cell, Carol is contemplating whether or not being a total badass is worth the price of her soul. Father Gabriel is a total freaking creeper walking around with a creepy as hell look on his face. They have food stores now from the Hill Top peeps, and now the hunt for some medicine commences. You know, business as per usual.
Apothecary’s aren’t that creepy in real life
Denise talks Daryl and Rosita into letting her tag along on a run to an apothecary that may or may not be a pay off. Now see, this is when I knew Denise was going to die. There was no logical reason for her to go with them. When she said, “You’ll need me to identify the meds”, that was it, she gone. Nah bitch, they’re going to take ALL THE MEDS. Case in point, Daryl and Rosita take ALL THE MEDS.
Oh and what does Denise do while they’re actually getting the supplies they were there to get? Well you see friends, Denise wanders into a darkened room that could have easily had a mobile walker in it and BOOM she gone. Instead she was shocked by a horrific scene of a mommy walker with a bum wheel and clearly no longer living baby. I’m not sure what that was, because I was honestly watching behind a pillow with the TV on mute. #Wimp
The Dynamic Duo
Meanwhile, we have Eugene and Abraham off on a run of their own. Eugene thinks he can start his own bullet making factory; oh and that he doesn’t need Abraham to save his life anymore. Which is admirable Eugene, really it is, until you have a walker sporting a melted on helmet a la Viserys Targaryen. That’s when you’re going to need an Abraham to step in and help out.
Source Put this in my: Ways I Definitely Do Not Want To Die Column
So now Eugene is feeling a little cranky because A) he called dibs on a walker and Abraham killed it. In man speak that’s a huge no-no. It’s like buying the exact purse that your best friend has and not checking to make sure she’s cool with it first. Kind of a dick move. Then there’s B) Eugene wanted to SHOW Abraham that he’s not useless and he can contribute and take care of himself. But since they’re both men and therefore unable to communicate effectively, they just yelled at each other and then stomped off. I promise you if they made a show that was just Eugene and Abraham going back and forth, I would be a faithful viewer. “You’d have better luck picking up the clean end of a turd.” That’s what Abraham said in response to Eugene trying to kill the walker. “I’m going to allow you to apologize for saying that”. Seriously, I was laughing so hard, my puppy started barking at me. She allowed me to apologize for that. #GoodDog
Nothing Good EVER happens on the train tracks
OK, so at this point we have Eugene and Abraham split up but presumably on their way home. Rosita, Daryl, and Denise are done raiding the apothecary and are on their way back. Daryl decides they can go back Rosita’s way (which is the train tracks) and Denise decides to start taking unnecessary risks because dang it, she really wants Tara to have some soda. I can’t imagine why, it has to all be expired at this point, but you know whatever, you’re willing to risk your life for it I guess. You do you do.
So, in wrestling a walker for a cooler, I thought, this is it, this is when she’s going to die. But no. You see friends, it’s not TWD if they don’t really screw with your emotions first. In Game of Thrones, you don’t really invest a whole lot into each character because there are so many of them. You don’t get the back story, the emotions, more importantly – the easy to remember names. But not TWD, oh no. You get back story. You get character insight, motivation, desires, and fears. You really get attached to some of the newly introduced characters and then you watch as an arrow from out of no where goes through their eye socket while they’re talking. And they keep talking, like it isn’t there. Which makes your stomach feel terrible/funny things you hate feeling. Denise’s death was horrible and honestly for me it ranked right up there with Noah’s death. Remember Noah, the kid who got pulled through the revolving doors and we had to watch the whole horrible bloody terribleness? Yeah, this one to me ranked right up there next to it.
Just in case you forgot how horrible it was. Yeah, it was this horrible.
But then this happened and now we have more horribleness to remember.
Finding out that the arrow came from Daryl’s crossbow shot by Dwight a Two-Face, Harvey Dent wanna be looking mofo, was a total kick to face. Daryl’s going to be carrying around that guilt for a LOOONNG time.
Eugene Giving Dwight the Chomp
So OK, now Denise is dead, Rosita and Daryl are surrounded by Dwight and a bunch of scary looking people with weapons, and oh by the way – they happen to have Eugene. Which is a shocker to absolutely NO ONE. Eugene spots Abraham creeping behind some barrels, and does what any normal person would do. He tells Dwight about Abraham hiding behind the barrels. Now you see, I had a feeling as soon as Eugene saw Abraham he was going to say something, not to be a dick about, but as part of a plan. That part I got right, the part I didn’t foresee was the dick biting part. I mean….dick biting. Eugene gave Dwight’s little friend the chomp. Who even does that?
This guy, this guy totally does that. #DickBiter #Chompers #ThatFaceTho
When you’re thinking on the Badass Scale of Badassiness in The Walking Dead you have a lot of wiggle room between characters. Each and every character has had a moment where you’re just like, ehh maybe I don’t want to cross them. At the top of the scale you have Rick; the man who bit out the throat of another man and then at the bottom of the scale there’s Eugene, the man who bit the dick of another man. Both forms of dental torture were effective, one was just slightly more terrifying and the other maybe more the thing of comedic legend. Either way, I could only imagine what Josh McDermitt (Eugene) thought when he sat down and read his script for that episode. Alright! Finally Eugene gets some character growth, becomes a useful part of the group, stands up to Abraham, wants to become his own billy-badass, bites some dude’s dick! Wait….what the actual fuck? Is Kirkman kidding me? First the mega mullet and now this?
Sorry Josh, but honestly no one could have bitten that dick quite like you and that pal, was a true compliment. I’m going to go ahead now and apologize for all the fans that bring you sausages and dildo’s to all the conventions from now on. Just remember, it comes from a place of love.
Missing: Carol. Reward if Found
It’s no secret, Carol is one of my favorite characters. The reason? She’s a total badass and she’s totally human. That’s why I am SO conflicted over her change of heart or well, finding her heart again. I want to be mad at Carol for leaving, I want to be pissed that she’s going through this conflict but honestly, I kind of get it. Carol’s character has been an ever evolving piece of art since day one and Melissa McBride has done such an amazing job of weaving so many pieces into this character to make her who she is today. I wish I could totally blame Morgan for his pacifistic views tainting her cold heart and the “do what ever needs to be done for the good of the group” mentality that Carol adopted after her daughter died, but I don’t think Morgan is one hundred percent to blame. I think that creepy little kid Sam had a lot to do with it too. If you remember, Carol put one of her beet and acorn cookies on his grave. She verbally tortured that child and she knows it. An entire family died because of that little boy losing his cheese and Carol’s words had a huge impact on that. She’s got to be feeling some guilt there. Then she and Maggie get kid napped by Paula and her little gang of idiots. Carol immediately did what she does best, plays down her strength, makes herself look meek and mild and scared. At first you’re watching and you’re sitting there like, oh ladies, you seriously picked up the wrong women. But then as time went on and Carol talked more and more with Paula, you began to see the changes in Carol’s face and pretty soon it wasn’t an act anymore. Carol didn’t want to kill them. She really did question whether her group was in the right or not. That’s huge for her. HUGE.
From next week’s previews it looks as though the group is go out looking for Carol, which means something terrible is going to happen to either the search party, Alexandria, or both. Great, just great.
