Mr. Darcy and I Would Never Make It

I was recently involved in a conversation about what one looks for in a man and/or the ideal man, and the topic of finding a Mr. Darcy was brought up. Jane Austen really set the gold standard. He’s a solid guy, but he’s the wrong one for me, because I have semi-recently come to the conclusion that Mr. Darcy and I would be doomed to failure. It’s not because I don’t like Darcy, it’s because I am Darcy.

Shared traits betwixt Fitzwilliam Darcy and myself:

Hates parties and dancing, and makes a sullen face the whole time, even if I see someone I like

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These will be my wedding vows probably. Someone has to be the initiator, and if it’s not going to be him, and it’s not going to be me….

Usually doesn’t talk, and when we do it’s something awkward

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This was him trying to confess his eternal and unyielding love. He probably practiced his speech the whole way there, and then this nonsense is what came out. Even if by some miracle we were to get together, we’d never be able to talk about our feelings. Strike two.

On the other hand, keeping silent is also awkward. Every interaction is just awkward.

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100% of my conversations with new people. Sure, he seems endearing now because we all know how it turns out, but…you need to get to the end of the story for that to happen. This does not get you to the end of the story. 

Sullen and moody

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Darcy making this grumpy jerk face is my Patronus. Let’s look at how a potential introduction between the two of us would go.

Me: “……,” whilst making that face.

Darcy: “……,” also making that face.

End of relationship. We’d never even have a shot. Back to Pemberley he goes. Alone. There’s a possibility that we could bond over our mutual hatred of Caroline Bingley, but would either of us ever bring it up? You’re sensing the pattern, you know the answer to that.

Holds grudges like a champ

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I love this part of the movie because I have literally said the modern language version of this. Plenty of people have very successful relationships with people who are just like them, but I am not one of them. I need a male Elizabeth Bennet to balance me out.

So I get Darcy from a fantasy standpoint, but at the same time I don’t really get him from a realistic standpoint, if that makes sense. Someone should write a gender swapped version of Pride and Prejudice, they’ve done tons of other versions. Maybe I’ll write it. Nobody take that idea, I’ll sue. (So would Darcy, so we have that in common too.)

I know I’m not the only Darcy lady. Who are the Lizzie Bennet men of literature that I’m forgetting about/need to be introduced to?

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