There are, of course, the many people who have red neck Rob Pattinson tattooed on their bodies:
And as many of you have come to us through Outlander, you have been along for the most recent crazy-fan rides including baked-treats being sent to set and those who spent WEEKS prepping to be the next #SamsFanFollow. (Not to mention the crew contact list was leaked last week. Anyone interested in pranking Terry Dresbach with us? How about asking Davie Hollywood* if his refrigerator is running?)
But those fans have NOTHING on this fan we shared a story from back in April, 2011. If you’ve ever heard us reference “cheese wheels and nipple clamps” (usually in our plans for red carpet gifts for celebrities or items to hide in each other’s SDCC luggage) and thought it was funny (because CHEESE and NIPPLES are funny) but never quite knew exactly what we were talking about, the day has come for you to be let in on the not-so-very-secret-story. And if you already know this story, re-read it. I just did and about lost it.
I present to you:
The Craziest Fan Story of all Time
Did you read the story where Twilight actor Jamie Campbell Bower talks about a stalker at his hotel in Baton Rouge? Of course you didn’t- no one reads Jamie Campbell Bower stories. Here is what he said:
And I’ll let you in on a little secret- the story is true. Here is what I know- straight from the “fan’s” mouth:
The “fan” somehow met Charlie Bewley (aka “CB”) & Jamie Campbell Bower. She communicated with Charlie through some fansite & somehow got the idea that the guys wanted to hang out with her. I’ll let her tell the rest of the story:
I sent a message to Charlie asking him to please let me know with all his honesty if he thought I could see them and maybe hang out with him and Jamie if I visited Baton Rouge….He replied to me telling me that he didn’t have a problem scheduling something “off the record.” So I told him that I would wait for him to return [from his trip] and so I postponed my trip a week.”
(Are you listening Sam Heughan fans? This is how it’s done!)
“I messaged him letting him know when I was traveling and for how long but received no reply except thru ***, who told me that CB said that everything was good to go. I went there Friday and still have no message from Charlie. I was nervous I might have wasted my time and money getting there for nothing and decided to take my chances and call him at his hotel room cuz ever since I met Jamie last month I found out where they are staying but told no one about it. I called him and he answered and was shocked that I knew their lodging and that I was connected to his room. He got upset at me, shouted at me but then calmed down cuz I told him no one else knew and that I just wanted to see if I could met him and Jamie somewhere public, a place of their choice. He told me that he couldn’t believe I went there and that he didn’t know I was coming…. I was devastated and told him that if he said that it wasn’t a problem with him, I would not have traveled from far away. I told him I was sorry to call him at the hotel but that I needed to contact him somehow to know where I stand for. I was almost crying and hung up telling him goodbye and I’m sorry.”
Takes notes “Somewhere public, a place of their choice”
That same night he sent me a message asking me to forgive him for his outburst on the phone but that he felt I went too far by calling him. That he was gonna see if Jamie and Dan could agree and do something to see me but that he was leaving next day. He said I was a crazy girl! I told him I was just a passionate and impulsive fan.
(No, You’re crazy)
On Saturday he went to *** and I was bored and desperate to get a message or call from Jamie or CB telling me what to do but nothing happened. So around 3pm or so I decided to try my luck again and called Jamie’s room. He answered with that beautiful British accent that melted me over the phone but he was surprised and serious. He did not ask me who I was and I asked him if Charlie told him about me and he said no. He said he was going out that there were some people waiting for him in a car and was rushing. I asked him if it was ok to leave some presents I got for him at reception and he said yes. Then he said sorry I have to go and hung up. I took a cab, went to a pharmacy, bought gift bags and put a letter to Jamie and card to CB in the other along with their presents. Told the cab to bring me to the hotel and wait for me while I dropped the gifts at front desk.”
They were baked goods, right? WRONG
Four hours after I dropped the gifts, I decided to call and check if they were delivered yet and I got the surprise of my life cuz The hotel manager took my call and told me that there were no such guests staying at their property, that the gifts weren’t delivered, that he had my name and that if I called again the police would be contacted.”
(Meanwhile, Sam just stuffs his face with whatever treat is dropped by, having no concern whatsoever that they could be poisoned or contain gluten which would surely cause bloat right before his latest nude scene.)
I felt horrible, imagining how much Jamie would hate me, since you know how much I heart him. I told Charlie I would never hurt them, that they got it all wrong cuz he knows I am a loyal fan Passionate and impulsive but not a psychopath…..My letter to [Jamie] was brutally honest and I hope he understands how much I admire and love him. I even left him a sexy gift along with the cheeses, a sex collar and nipple clamps! I did spend my money and I feel like Lady Gaga’s papparazzi song: “I’m your biggest fan I’ll follow you until you love me”.”
You heard that right: CHEESES, A SEX COLLAR and NIPPLE CLAMPS!
First published on LetterstoTwilight.com 4/20/11 *ironic it was posted on 4/20, huh?
To be fair, this fan clearly has some issues and I hope she got help. But in the meantime, I will love every minute of the re-sharing our the Cheese Wheels and Nipple Clamps story and hope you do too.
Is that the craziest fan story you have ever heard? No, Give me one better in the comments
*Who is Davie Hollywood? He’s an Outlander cast driver. I am so ashamed I Know this. I think he’s dating a fan. Of course he’s dating a fan.
