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Bourne Again: The Return of Jason Bourne

in on 02/12/16 by Julie 5 Comments

During Super Bowl 50, amid commercials about fuel efficient getaway cars, toe fungus prescriptions, and a hybrid of a toy baby-monkey-puppy that you see when you drop acid and listen to The Beatles’ Sargent Pepper album backwards, was the return of a man who made me squeal and almost drop my plate of perfectly assembled nachos. (Note the “almost.” My hunger reflexes are strong.)

jason-bourne-movie-2016-poster

Source

Jason Bourne

Our favorite amnesic, multilingual, weapons and hand-to-hand combat expert is back and still doesn’t know who the eff he is. But whatever. I got to see Matt Damon shirtless and that was the best 31 seconds of that game in my opinion.

It’s been almost ten years since Matthew Paige Damon showed us that you can easily stab a man with a pencil. Almost ten years of watching him don bad facial hair (see The Informant and True Grit), make out with both Emily Blunt and Michael Douglas, and getting lost in space. Patiently we waited for Matt’s return only to have Hawkeye aka Jeremy Renner take a break from being the lamest Avenger and do a spin-off in The Bourne Legacy. It wasn’t the same.

So, when Matt Damon announced that he would return as Bourne, he was welcomed like the prodigal son, if that son knew how to break your face with only two fingers.

#MattDamon is back as Jason Bourne! See him in theaters July 29.

A photo posted by Jason Bourne (@jasonbourne) on Jan 29, 2016 at 9:48am PST

So, while we wait for July 29th and binge watch all Jason Bourne movies while simultaneously listening to Moby’s “Mysterious Ways” on repeat, here are some of my favorite moments from the trailer.

Screen Shot 2016-02-10 at 6.24.53 PM

What’s the first rule of fight club? Also, that guy in the black tank top to the right is representing how I feel about watching this trailer. 

Screen Shot 2016-02-10 at 6.28.19 PM

Hello future computer desktop photo. 

Screen Shot 2016-02-10 at 5.20.36 PM

Is it sad that I want to kiss his forehead wrinkles? Don’t care. 

Screen Shot 2016-02-10 at 5.20.17 PM

Aww. It’s bae Matty. 

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God bless you, cinematographer, for providing us this close up of Matt’s nipple.  I think this is first base. 

giphy

Matt Damon+shirtless+the desert+boxing = my orgasm. 

Are you excited as I am about this movie? You should be. Let’s discuss!

 

5 Comments

About Julie

Julie’s Current Obsessions: Sangria. Anything Outlander. Reading great books more than once. Jimmy Fallon. J Crew Factory deals. Red Lipstick. The Civil Wars (R.I.P.). Atticus Finch. Taylor Swift’s 1989. Anthropologie. Dancing and not caring who sees. Instagram photo filters. Target’s Mossimo skinny jeans. Attempting French. Men’s forearms (don’t ask). Not getting over How I Met Your Mother’s series finale. The Twilight Soundtracks (yep, all of them). Audrey Hepburn. Find her on Twitter @julep0405

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