Jason Bourne
Our favorite amnesic, multilingual, weapons and hand-to-hand combat expert is back and still doesn’t know who the eff he is. But whatever. I got to see Matt Damon shirtless and that was the best 31 seconds of that game in my opinion.
It’s been almost ten years since Matthew Paige Damon showed us that you can easily stab a man with a pencil. Almost ten years of watching him don bad facial hair (see The Informant and True Grit), make out with both Emily Blunt and Michael Douglas, and getting lost in space. Patiently we waited for Matt’s return only to have Hawkeye aka Jeremy Renner take a break from being the lamest Avenger and do a spin-off in The Bourne Legacy. It wasn’t the same.
So, when Matt Damon announced that he would return as Bourne, he was welcomed like the prodigal son, if that son knew how to break your face with only two fingers.
So, while we wait for July 29th and binge watch all Jason Bourne movies while simultaneously listening to Moby’s “Mysterious Ways” on repeat, here are some of my favorite moments from the trailer.
What’s the first rule of fight club? Also, that guy in the black tank top to the right is representing how I feel about watching this trailer.
Hello future computer desktop photo.
Is it sad that I want to kiss his forehead wrinkles? Don’t care.
Aww. It’s bae Matty.
God bless you, cinematographer, for providing us this close up of Matt’s nipple. I think this is first base.
Matt Damon+shirtless+the desert+boxing = my orgasm.
Are you excited as I am about this movie? You should be. Let’s discuss!
