Last month, my soon-to-be-ex finally moved out of our house. We had been separated since October 2014. Yes, you read that date correctly. I don’t know how we did it, either.
Part of our divorce settlement is my refinancing and buying him out of our house. I am becoming solely responsible for the entire mortgage.
Taking on hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt deserves to be celebrated! My increased obligation to Bank of America needs to be acknowledged! It’s finally just MY HOUSE!
To honor this event, I’m going to do a hippy dippy, salt water spiritual cleanse of my 1917 bungalow, cleaning out all the negative energy. It’s a thing, I swear.
Then, I’m going to channel Jo from Fixer Upper and paint my dining room, living room, and sunroom a lovely shade of white – Natural Choice by Sherwin Williams, to be exact.
Can’t tell the difference between this and Benjamin Moore’s November Rain? Amateur.
But first, I need to get rid of some physical crap in my house. I’m a fairly neat person. My house isn’t cluttered, and I don’t get too attached to objects save my books. But there are definite pain points in keeping things neat, and I’m sick of it. I want my home to be an oasis. A place that brings me calm. My own personal yoga studio-cum-Waffle House.
Goodbye Benjamin Moore Wales Green. Also, time to get rid of my framed wedding invitation.
Last summer, while visiting my boyfriend’s mother on the Cape, I noticed a book sitting on an end table: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo.
This #1 New York Times best-selling guide to decluttering your home from Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo takes readers step-by-step through her revolutionary KonMari Method for simplifying, organizing, and storing.
I gave the book covering “the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing” a quick perusal and set it back down. It was summer, and I only had time for rum and using outdoor showers.
But recently, my friend Tonja reminded me of KonMari as she was tackling her messy closets, and knowing I wanted a New Year’s cleanse that did not involve maple syrup or cayenne pepper, I picked up my own copy of the book. Marie Kondo had me at the word MAGIC. #cult #iwantin
Reset Your Life
Kondo’s basic KonMari philosophy is this: house clutter and holding onto “things” are holding you back. It fosters unhappiness and frustration, and when we try to keep things tidy by tackling clutter piecemeal – typically room by room – we fail. But by simplifying our stuff, we simplify our surroundings. And then we can truly concentrate on achieving what we want because we aren’t wasting our time on housework. Why haven’t I perfected my tuna noodle casserole yet? Because I’m too busy trying to cram all my kid’s clothes in her drawers!
Storage experts are hoarders
Boom. Shots fired. Kondo does not care about your hurt fefes.
A booby trap lies within the term “storage.”
“Put away in its proper place” does not mean clutter-free. If your basement is filled with organized plastic bins full of stuff you never actually use, then what is the point. Put down the Brother Label Printer and really assess what you need.
Sort by category, not location.
This is key. Kondo says that when we go room by room, we never really complete the process. Moving my Southern Living magazines from one room to the other does not reduce my number of Southern Living magazines.
Does this spark joy?
When cleaning up, this is the key question. Hold every object in your hand and ask yourself, Does this spark joy? If this thing is not making your life better, then why hold onto it? Be introspective about what you surround yourself with. Does that Christmas sweater remind you of the awful time your mom told you that you needed more prayer and less Lexapro? GET RID OF IT!
This book is nuts
Maybe it’s a translation issue, or maybe the author is so full of bliss she writes without any artifice…but some stuff she says gets my major side eye.
On saddling her younger sister with hand-me-downs:
(T)hat was pretty despicable.
After spending three years of her youth tidying:
I finally lost it. “I don’t want to tidy anymore!”
On her success rate:
As I said at the beginning, people who use the KonMari Method never revert to clutter again.
Join Amy on her KonMari Journey
My home isn’t that untidy, but there are small areas that drive me bonkers.
- My office book shelves
- My daughter’s closet
- My daughter’s top drawer
- My key/catch-all basket
- My jewelry collection
- My housewares
My daughter’s top drawer: belts, bathing suits, karate gis, lion hats
Do I need all those Vogue magazines from 2007?
My FiestaWare gives me joy, but my Wedgwood china is another matter.
My personal plan of attacking by category will be this:
1) Books
2) Clothes
3) Jewelry
4) Dishes/housewares
Come back next week and see how I did with my books. There are gonna be tears and papercuts for certain.
Have you heard of the KonMari method? Have you tried it? Want to share any anecdotes or photos? Want to tell me to get away from this cult of clean before I really begin?
