Fixer Upper on HGTV is my guilty pleasure, my companion while I work and my dream is for Joanna and Chip to have me on their first outside of Waco episode in California! A girl can dream, huh?! Chip and Jo’s show is inspirational but also funny, THEY are what sets them apart from other home shows but of course they have their little quirks and I’ve rounded them up into my own little drinking game. So take a drink when any of the following happens:
HGTV’s Fixer Upper Drinking Game
During The Real Estate Search Chip takes a dare
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Doesn’t matter what it is, from dares on whether there are hardwoods under the carpet to whether he’ll eat a cockroach off the floor of an almost condemned home, Chip will see your bet and raise you an upset stomach. He even admits on the show that he’ll take any dare, so sit back and wait for Chip to come up with some sort of dare, competition or hair brained idea.
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Apprehensive Owners Try Joanna’s Patience
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One of my favorite parts of the real estate portion of the show is when an owner is disgusted with the home and CANNOT imagine living there and hates EVERYTHING and the editors cut to Joanna who is barely masking her dagger eyes. The next time they update Emojis, I hope that right next to the Heart Eyes emoji there’s a Dagger Eyes emoji because that would be Joanna. We know it’s producer-created drama but, Home owners, you’re on a show called FIXER UPPER, the home is gonna look like garbage when you buy it. Trust the vision y’all. TRUST THE VISION and watch out for those dagger eyes.
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Joanna suggests removing a wall
In Joanna’s world, if homes didn’t have walls it’d be near perfect, so taking out at least 3/4ths of the walls on the ground level of a home is the way to go. Of course it always looks freaking gorgeous and makes the home look like a mansion but I can’t help but laugh when I hear her start with, “we’ll take out this wall and make a large case-opening… and then this wall will open to the dining room and then this wall…” Forget the wheel Jesus, take the wall.
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Joanna suggests brick pavers
You really can’t have a front walk way, patio, driveway, sitting room, or much else without antique brick pavers. Get in the know, people!
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Joanna suggests creating a new kitchen island, a loooong dining room table, Shiplap headboard or an outdoor dining table and chandelier combo
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Bless their carpenter Clint Harp’s heart, this man can make any drawing, heap of shiplap and a dream into useable (and beautiful) furniture. So much so, that some of Chip and Joanna’s new home furniture line feature some of the pieces they’ve made with Clint.
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Chip talks about Demo Day!
CHIP LOVES DEMO DAY. CHIP LIVES FOR DEMO DAY. PRODUCERS LIVE TO SHOW YOU THE LOVE CHIP HAS FOR DEMO DAY. Now show us that sweet sledge hammer action, Chip! Now show us the hole Chip leaves in a wall and walks away from. Poor Shorty.
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Chip and Joanna Compete
This is possibly my favorite category ever because it leads me to the best moment on Fixer Upper EVER and that’s saying something. While taking out a wall (SURPRISE DRINK!) Chip and Joanna decide to have a little karate kicking contest, after Joanna gets her leg stuck in the dry wall, Chip kicks it up like a million notches and decides to jump THROUGH the wall. Cue my favorite moment on Fixer Upper EVER:
I’m not kidding, I rewound that moment like 20 times.
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Chip and Joanna discover Shiplap behind the walls
OH EM GEE guys, it’s mother effing SHIP LAP behind these walls. They love this stuff so much it’s all over their own home (above). Finding these boards behind the walls of their homes has become a joke in itself on the show you can even buy this shirt from Magnolia Market:
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Joanna decorates with items from Magnolia Market
Am I the only one who watches Fixer Upper with my computer open to the Magnolia Market website to double check what I can buy from a specific home? Me? Just me? Giant clock, check. Zinc containers, check. Bulb trays, check. They’ve got it all. Someone hold my credit card.
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Joanna has to call a home owner mid-show
There’s always something that goes haywire on Fixer Upper, whether it’s rotten floor boards, a bee infestation, Joanna wants to move plumbing across the room, or they find something they should have noticed in their home inspection, Joanna always has to call a home owner to approve an added cost. Of course Chip is in the background showing his stomach or doing handstands while Joanna is trying to ask the home owner to cough up an extra 15k for hand railings. Such is the “drama” on this show.
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Chip says “Sure,” “Square Foot,” or “Right Side Up”
Chip has his ways and his words and they are endearing but now that I’ve pointed them out you will never be able to watch Fixer Upper the same.
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Chip tries on an item in a vintage store
I can’t even begin to think about the bugs and lice and gross in a wig found at the vintage store but Chip sure doesn’t! He’ll put on the wig, the civil war uniform AND the lamp shades while trailing Joanna in a local Waco shop. Bless.
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Finish the Glass when they reveal the final all in $ number
Cry into the bottom of your glass when you realize someone bought a home for under 100K and renovated it with another 100K and remember that in Los Angeles you can’t even find a trash heap for under half a million. This show is not good for my psyche but man do I love it.
Now will someone PLEASE go with me to the Silos and the Bakery, Flour and the B and B and the Market, I’m not sure my BF can handle more Chip and Jo after I had a realization while watching Fixer Upper that he is the Joanna of our relationship and I am the Chip (minus the cockroach eating).
Are you watching Fixer Upper? What’s your favorite home they’ve Reno-ed (mine is the mid century modern)?
