But a recent tummy bug and snowstorm Nick Jonas gave me the downtime I needed to do betterer at television. Nothing like barf and a blizzard to give me permission to sit on my couch and watch the small screen. I pay for all this cable and On Demand and Netflix and Prime. I might as well use it!
During my January television binge, I noticed some trends in fashion and design that sparked my interest. Sorry if I’m late to the party on these. I’m 42. I don’t even try and be hip anymore. The only hip I care about is my right hip. My right hip has bursitis. #old
But my joints aside, I’m so proud I learned to BINGE! And here are my top 5 trends from (relatively) recent TV.
Cardigans with flair
This $695 Milly cardigan (from the Spring 2014 collection) is living its best life.
Sarah Palin wore this sweater with 1,156 pieces of flair during her Donald Trump endorsement speech. So last season, still on trend. Since wearing a necklace made of bullets was have been too “in your face,” Sarah opted for knitwear covered in blow darts. Much more subtle yet still pro-weaponry.
Jesus, take the wheel
Amazing Bewbs
Whether it’s ladies on The Bachelor or the crazies on Vanderpump Rules, we are in the golden age of boobies. So perky. So young. Side boob. Under boob. Such…density! As a lady who breastfed for 18 months, I can readily admit I’m jelly.
Sad Jubilee. Proof that great boobs don’t bring happiness.
Mustaches
FOMO could not get me into the Fever book series y’all seem to love so much, but FOMO got me into Making A Murderer on Netflix.
There is one thing that jowly guys in Wisconsin love more than framing you for murder, and that’s the full bodied mustache.
You now how Hitler killed the Charlie Chaplin mustache? Why can’t these guys kill the John Wayne Gacy mustache?
Silk blouses
I am a little late to The Americans, but thanks to streaming, are you ever really tardy for the TV party anymore. And what blows my mind about this show set in the early 80s is that it has fashion that I actually want to wear. I want to live in silk blouses and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. The good news is, I buy my own clothes and I CAN live in silk blouses and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans (which they sell at Kohl’s).
They make communism look good. Not as good as Bernie Sanders does, but I digress.
Shiplap
I am obsessed with Fixer Upper and Joanna and Chip Gaines. I love their rapport. I love the Waco prices (That five bedroom house cost $23,000! Lord, help!). And I especially love Joanna’s design aesthetic.
SHIPLAP. I always thought designing with long, narrow boards was called clapboard, but apparently that is incorrect. It’s SHIPLAP! And the hosts of Fixer Upper use it every chance they get. You do you, Jo. Shiplap is the new wainscoting.
So I’m all tuckered out from writing this post. I think I will go sit on my couch and watch some TV.
