The Lazy Girl’s Guide to Preparing for a Snowpocalypse

If you live on the East Coast chances are likely you’ve heard about the upcoming storm that may end all civilization here in the Mid-Atlantic region. No, seriously, with the way people act with snow storms around these here parts you’d think we lived on Hoth. Winter storm Jonas aka The Snowpocalypse is causing a lot of talk and A LOT of panic here in the Old Line State (that’s Maryland for you folks not up to date on your MD trivia), BUT Jonas did do me a solid. You see, he got me thinking, why does everyone freak out during winter storms? Why the immediate need to buy milk, bread, and toilet paper? I get the whole survival instinct, but my instincts tell me WAY calmer different methods of handling a snow day. I know how I prepare for a winter storm and I’m not going to say I’ve got the answer here, yes I am but what I am going to say is that maybe a few tips from Ol’ Laura may not be so bad.

 

_Source

Step One: Deny, Deny, Deny

OK, step ONE in the Lazy Girl’s Guide is to recognize that it’s probably not going to snow. You heard me. There probably won’t be ANY snow. It is now and has ALWAYS been my theory (some may say it’s a “conspiracy theory”) that when grocery stores become too overstocked with bread, milk, and toilet paper, they give a little ring-a-ding to the weathermen.

“Hey Bob, gotta lot of product dying on shelves. Gotta make room for some new fancy rippled TP. We need a number 3 Bob.”

“Gear up folks it’s going to be a big one this weekend!” And there you have it.

_Source

Step Two: Do Nothing

So, for step TWO, we do NOTHING. We don’t even watch the weather reports. We ignore EVERYTHING weather related. If someone asks you what you think of the weather, you smile and tell them it’s a balmy 98.6° inside your mind.  We ignore the weather until we can no longer ignore the weather anymore. There comes a moment when we must face the reality that dealing with a winter storm or a winter bust is going to have to happen. That’s when step THREE comes in.

_Source

Step Three: Get Stocked Up

STEP THREE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP EVER. We go to the liquor store. Now, I know what you’re going to say, why in the world would you go to the liquor store and stock up if you don’t believe it’s actually going to snow? I mean, come on people, do I really need a reason to go to the liquor store? People gotta drink. It’s always best to be well stocked. That’s just good common sense and being polite to any uninvited house guests that may randomly show up. Seriously, that’s like a life lesson.

_Source

Step Four: Take Inventory

Like a blustery North East wind, in sweeps step number FOUR. We *consider* going to the grocery store. We look through the house and take a quick inventory of what we have and decide if we can live on it for a day or two. Left over Pad Thai, check. Easy mac, check. A few apples and OH SNAP – some left over caramel dipping sauce?! BOOM, later miserable people at the grocery store, enjoy fighting over the last loaf of day old squished rye bread that you know your kids won’t eat anyway.

_Source

Step Five: Be Prepared

Now, my fifth and final step is pretty much my ONLY real preparation that I do for any sort of snow storms. I always make sure that my portable chargers are fully charged. If there is one thing that San Diego Comic Con has taught me, it’s how to keep both my iPad and my iPhone charged for multiple days with little to no electricity available. Portable. Chargers. God’s little gifts to every techie out there.

_Source

There you have it friends. My Lazy Girl’s Guide to Preparing For a Snowpocalypse. Basically, what I’m saying here is that if it does snow just stay home and drink. Maybe read a book too. Or knit something. That’s fun. But stay off the roads, and be nice to check-out people at the grocery store. They’re not getting any of that kickback money.

What do you do to prepare for a Snowpocalypse?

Like snow? Love snow? Hate snow? Tell us below!