Tiny House Nation Drinking Game!

If you’re like me, you’ve been lured down many a Facebook and Pinterest rabbit holes of posts featuring beautiful, super minimalistic, highly designed TINY HOMES. Yup, we’re talking homes less than 500 square feet. We’re also talking crazy in some cases. Regardless, I am enamored and have day dreams of owning my own little baby home full of cubbies and baskets and “a place for everything and everything in it’s place.” Cut to real life and yea, maybe it’s not quite a reality but it’s sure fun to look at and watch on TV. Enter my own personal addiction: Tiny House Nation on FYI. Tiny House Nation is essentially your average home improvement show but tiny and on crack and stars two guys, one of whom, John Weisbarth the host, was probably never really a fan of tiny homes until he got this hosting gig and the other is a carpenter, Zack Giffin who apparently owns his own Tiny Home and looks like the lead character out of an early 90s surfing movie.

Like most Home Improvement shows and unscripted shows in general there’s a bit of a formula the producers and editors adhere to and Tiny House Nation is NO different. This formula is what makes it easy to watch, comfortable and at time downright ridiculous. You know in the best ‘home improvement shows are zany’ kind of way. Because I’ve watched EVERY single episode of Tiny House Nation at least once and usually a few times (that’s what DVR is for, folks), I give you my guide to watching Tiny House aka my Tiny House Nation Drinking Game!

Drink Once when anyone mentions the term “paring down”

Honestly, this phrase alone could get you drunk when watching Tiny House Nation. It’s said (gleefully) from the moment John gets in a (rented) work truck to drive to the couples home to meet them for the first time till the big reveal at the end. Among other segments, the paring down is one of John’s biggest moments and he LOVES it. He loves PARING DOWN!

Bonus: John comes up with some hackney way for the couple to pare down

Host John loves NOTHING better than to bring in some homespun methods like giving kids a small basket to put the ONLY toys they will be able to take. John will also roll out some duct tape in the family’s living room to illustrate how big their tiny home really is. Another favorite is when John lets the kids pare down for the whole family. This seems smart! I’ve even seen a ball and chain attached to a couple to teach them that they’ll never be more than three feet from each other in their tiny home. When you put it that way John, burn the thing down!

Drink Twice when John throws to a clip package of a beautiful, Architectural Design Magazine ready tiny house

These things have movable walls, multiple floors, beautiful materials, the works! Then Tiny House Nation cuts back to the wooden barn on wheels they’re building. It’s a bit of a hilarious dichotomy. The moral of this story is: be an architect or hire one to make your tiny house.

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vs. tiny homes like these:
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Drink Three Times When John throws Zach a “curve ball” and the couple wants a massive change

Ok, sure we’ll suspend our belief and go with you that a family would sell their home and leave a measly 10 days to build their tiny home WITHOUT very specific blueprints and plans already in place. SURE Tiny House Nation, SURE! Regardless, John always finds a few curveballs to throw Zach such as, the couple NEEDS to have a full length bathtub or the couple has a dog and NEEDS a built in kennel or the owner is a hang gliding instructor and HAS to store the hang glider IN the tiny home. In return Zach gives a look somewhere between Do I really work with this doofus?

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and… do you think they’ll notice if I cry?
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Drink When Zack creates some weird, totally janky space saver

I’m talking about the camping stove on that massive hinge or the “Smuggler’s Box” that’s like, 2 feet big in the middle of a MASSIVE deck or the wine fridge that held like, 4 bottles IN THE FLOOR. Or this beauty… the picnic table that descends from the ceiling… on chains.
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Bonus points if John mentions the importance of using reclaimed wood or repurposed materials. Bonus bonus is they cut to Zach helping the couple make some sort of project out of their own existing furniture.

When the couple says “it’s bigger than I thought it would be”

SURE guys… SURE. 192 square feet is bigger than you thought it would be. My shower is bigger than I thought it would be. The trunk in my new car is bigger than I thought it would be. Your house is not.
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You can’t even sit up straight guys!!

Switch Drinks when it’s revealed the couple is getting the sliding drawer bed

NO ONE WANTS the sliding drawer bed. No one.
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I don’t even want to think about making this bed.

Refill your drink if some sort of staged catastrophe ALMOST happens

As if spending 50k on your tiny dream home and putting it in the hands of these guys wasn’t nerve wracking enough, the producers then trump up some sort of possible catastrophe at the end. It’s been raining and the tiny house is SINKING! We’re driving the tiny house over an old wooden bridge and it might collapse! ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!
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Finish your drink if someone mentions a “Composting Toilet”

I mean, I get it butttttttt… no.
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Clearly, I LOVE this show, watching every episode multiple times tells you as much and sure there are some cheese ball moments but what unscripted show doesn’t have those? I can only hope if I ever build a Tiny House that John and Zach will knock on my door, help me pare down (DRINK!) and then build me a wine barrel bathub (that’s too small for me). DRINK!

Because we’ve been good, FYI is bringing us what I can only imagine is a clip show count down this Saturday! Thank you Santa and Baby Jesus! Catch up on all the episodes on FYI.

12 Tiny Homes of Christmas air on Saturday, December 5th on FYI.

Who’s watching Tiny House Nation or my next favorite, Tiny House Hunting?