Ho ho ho, That’s Normal! It’s the holiday season. Mistletoe, eggnog, energy-saving LED lights. It’s also time for all those delightful Christmas movies we love. Movies like Poltergeist and Inglorious Basterds. You know, those “scary ghost stories and tales of the glories” that Andy Williams sings about. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, indeed.
Christmas is all about the loot under the tree, and every lifestyle blogger and product shiller is making sure you, the consumer, have plenty of gift giving choices.
Gwyneth Paltrow recommends the Vagina Steamer, because squatting over a pot of boiling angel hair is frowned upon in polite company.
Reese Witherspoon thinks these “Hi Y’all/Bye Y’all” mittens are a great present. We agree; they are the perfect $75 mittens to lose in the back of a cab.
Oprah being Oprah has the best gift recommendation of all. A gorgeous casserole dish! Real talk: your 2016 Resolutions need to include “make more casseroles.”
These are good gifts. Duh.
The editors of No Duh (me) have curated our own 2015 Holiday Gift guide, just for the That’s Normal girl. Remember that something like 60% of our annual GDP is generated in this fourth quarter. Do your part to keep America great. Buy stuff for the ones you love. Heck, buy stuff for the one you are kinda “meh” about. Contributing to commerce is the centerpiece of Jesus’s birthday.
West Elm Modern Marquee Arrow
This is a great gift for anyone in your life who enjoys sexual intercourse. They can hang it right next to their bed and point it downward. Where does the magic happen? RIGHT THERE!
Sorel Slimpack Riding Boots
Basic girls wear the LL Bean duck boots. Don’t give basic gifts. These waterproof, coldproof Sorel riding boots are as gorgeous as winter boots can get. Also, the LL Bean Duck boots are on backorder until March.
The Stylish Life Coffee Table Books
Coffee table books are a great gift for people who want to own books but technically don’t read. These are people I call “illeterarti.” So you might as well give them a book covering the greatest – and prettiest – sport of all time. Tennis. Duh.
The 4 Elements of the Perfect Shave – Sandalwood
He was muddling her brain and making it very difficult to think clearly. She took a deep breath, the scent of sandalwood wrapping around her, distracting her.
She shouldn’t say yes.
But somehow, oddly, she found she couldn’t say no.
- One Good Earl Deserves a Lover, Sarah MacLean
Don’t you want your man to muddle your brain a bit? Shouldn’t he smell like he stepped off the pages of a good Regency romance? Yasssssss.
Jonathan Adler Edie Vase
Give to this to your mom. It’s a flower merkin over the lady bits, the place where you first emerged.
Fashion Plates
Not as cool as the original design we had back in the 80s, but your little future Christian Diors will love this. Best part? When you put them to bed, you can play with it. RUBY! GO TO BED!
Jame Moder Crystal Chandelier
Party girls don’t get hurt, but they do need a chandelier to swing from. And the party girl in your life needs to swing in style.
Wishing you all a safe and lovely holiday season. I hope you get everything you want while spreading cheer along the way. What presents are you most looking forward to giving? Which lady in your life deserves a vagina steamer? Was she naughty or nice?
