Confessional: I’m a hard-core mmmBop-singing FANSON

On October 22, 2015, nearly every entertainment news source posted a news item, with a headline that read something along the lines of “Get Ready to Feel Old, The Youngest Hanson Turns 30 Today!” Yes, Zac Hanson is now, according to pop culture, really damn old, and somehow it became a cultural milestone where people who had not thought about Hanson since the 90s faced their own aging, life choices and mortality. Or something like that. But it made the news and made people feel weird.

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I found the hullabaloo around Zac Hanson turning 30 to be very strange, but for a different reason. His birthday came as no surprise to me whatsoever. I was with him and his older brothers Taylor and Isaac for 2 nights right before this monumental day in pop culture. I sweated with them, took a mile-long barefoot walk with them, sang with them, and when Zac told me to jump, you’d better believe I jumped as high as I could. I took a 2 hour plane trip to go to back to back concerts because it wasn’t enough to see them once locally on their most recent tour. You see, dear friends, I am a Hanson fan. A Fanson. A 31 year old literal card-carrying Fan Club member who tracks every time I’ve seen them live in a GoogleDoc, which for the record, is 19 times since 1998. #ThatsNormal.

_{Source: Author’s Personal Collection}

My journey as a Fanson is a topic for a different time, and probably a different blog because I know y’all are here for Sam Heughan and not Taylor Hanson, but I’m here to give you a small insight into a fandom you likely know nothing about.

Top Questions I Get Asked About Being a Fanson:

1. You mean like that song MMMBop dibbee doowop?
2. Do they still look and sound like girls?
3. They’re all gay, right?
4. Didn’t one/all of them die like 10 years ago?
5. Are you their only/biggest fan?
6. Do they know you by name?
7. Do they just play that one song over and over at concerts?
8. Aren’t you ever going to grow up?

 

Here’s what you need to know about Hanson in 2015:

They are subject to the same universal laws of science as other humans and have, in fact, aged in the last 18 years. They cut their hair and they have deeper voices. They still can SAYNG. They are grown ass men with wives, kids and facial hair who play to sold out crowds around the world.

They’ve made 6 studio albums, a Christmas album, several EPs and every year, they send around 5 new songs to their fan club members. They just released an EP of cover songs including Michael Jackson and Ed Sheeran and it’s phenomenal. Their music is easy to listen to, fun to listen to, and won’t make you cringe that your 7 year old is singing a song with lyrics that are wildly inappropriate. I like One Direction songs just fine, but when my daughter sings along to “Perfect,” I feel weird. Not so much when she’s belting out “Juliet” or “Waiting for This.”

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They have an interesting public persona which is equal parts absolutely the nicest guys you could hope to meet, the biggest dorks ever, husbands-and-dads, and mothereffin’ rock gods that will cause the first 15 rows at every concert to spontaneously ovulate. I don’t know how that voodoo works, but it does.

Minute 3:00 and Beyond Changed My Life

Hanson’s fans are HARDCORE and my current magic number of 19 live shows is a drop in the bucket compared to many. I’ve met them several times over the years; shared hugs, high fives, beer jokes and Ghostbusters references and I guarantee they still don’t know me. And that’s perfectly fine with me. Though clearly, I was saying something really interesting in the pic below that unbeknownst to me made it onto a “rare Hanson pics” Tumblr. It’s difficult to explain the feeling of having your first celebrity crush look at you and listen to you with that much intensity, but if you can make it happen with whoever that person may be, I suggest you do it. Unf.

_{Source: Author’s Personal Collection Ripped Off By Hanson Rares}

And the most important thing to know is that they put on a damn good live show. They play their hits, other crowd favorites, some deeper cuts and some awesome covers. They have funny stage banter. If you’re standing towards the front, Taylor will make you feel like you’re the only fan in the room. If you’re lucky, you might get one of Isaac’s guitar picks or Zac’s drum sticks. I read a professional review of a concert I was at a few years ago, and the reporter marveled at how the entire place was, and I’m paraphrasing here, “worshipping at the Church of Hanson.” But it’s true. I can’t describe the feeling of singing MMMBop with a thousand other fans and the three guys who created it in any way other than as a religious experience.

 

A video posted by Sarah (@toomanythings) on Nov 15, 2015 at 5:42pm PST

And the song that was written by children and dismissed as being nonsensical? It’s a warning that means so much more now that I have a few years behind me and have experienced what the song is about.

You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all the pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they’re gone so fast
Oh yeah
And they’re gone so fast, yeah
Oh
So hold on the ones who really care
In the end they’ll be the only ones there
And when you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care
Can you tell me who will still care?

In 2017, it will be 20 years since MMMBop ruled radio, and I guarantee Hanson will be everywhere again as late night hosts and listicle websites try to create the perfect nostalgic viral video. My challenge to you, dear readers of That’s Normal, is to get a leg up on everyone else and listen to that song, to Middle of Nowhere and to their other albums, This Time Around, Underneath, The Walk, Shout It Out, and Anthem. Not every song is a winner, but you won’t be upset you listened. Go see Hanson next time they tour; you will not be disappointed, even if you don’t know any of the songs. If you need a concert buddy, look me up. I wouldn’t miss a Hanson tour for the world!

Must hear studio released Hanson songs (in chronological order)

(but really you should listen to every song on every album)

MMMBop
Where’s the Love
Minute Without You
This Time Around
If Only
Runaway Run
Hand In Hand
Strong Enough to Break
Penny and Me
Go
Lost Without Each Other
The Entire The Walk Album
Thinkin’ Bout Something
Give A Little
The Entire Anthem Album

Okay let’s hear it: Who else is a Fanson?

Written by Sarah

This is not Sarah’s first blog post about fandom, but her first one not under a deep cloak of anonymity. She lives with her very understanding husband and Fanson-In-Training daughter. She stopped apologizing for liking Hanson several years ago, and has a standing offer that she will pay for dinner if you accompany her to a Hanson concert and don’t enjoy yourself. She can be found on Twitter @SarSchreib and Instagram @TooManyThings.