Franklin Roosevelt famously said that the “only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. In all due respect, President Roosevelt never had to stay a night in the Hotel Cortez; that place would definitely not get a great yelp review. This season of American Horror Story is nearing it’s halfway point and I’m in LOVE. I’ve gone from LOVING hotels to being paranoid of little blonde headed children wandering the halls. I have to stay in a hotel soon; I honestly don’t want to admit to the amount of time I spent researching hotels in the Meat Packing District in New York. BUT it’s all good, because AHS is amazeballs and the terror is totally worth it.
No Naomi Campbell, it’s Hotel Cortez
First, I want to talk about Lady MF Gaga.
Bitch better have her…..blood?
Watching her on AHS is like watching a beautiful magical creature slowly devour a precious unicorn; a part of you knows you shouldn’t be watching but you’re going to watch anyways. In the show she plays a “vampire”, I use quotations because I’m not sure if the word vampire has been said or not. But that’s what she is and it’s pretty fantastic. Unless you’re on the menu, then it sucks to be you Boo. The thing about Lady Gaga is that everyone keeps asking me how is she in the show, like there is any question of whether or not she’ll be able to “pull it off”. Y’all, she’s LADY GAGA, she’s the bee’s knee’s of entertainment. She’s got this. She’s also my new spirit animal. It’s used to be this guy:
But now it’s this magical thing:
Seriously. This show hits all the points for me. Lady Gaga being well Lady Gaga. Matt Bomer looking fine as hell. Sarah Paulson giving such an terrific performance and playing off of the fabulous Kathy Bates. And then we have Evan Peters. Oh Evan, you are so dear and so sweet, and so….wait why are you…..oh my god! You just killed that lady!
Evan Peters as James March = Outstanding Madness
Ya think! Apparently, dear Evan Peters is playing the super evil master mind behind the Hotel Cortez, James March. Quick back story, the entire hotel was built with one purpose in mind, to be a murderer’s paradise. There are hallways that don’t lead anywhere, chutes to drop bodies in, false walls that one can pop out of for a quick shanking. The Hotel Cortez don’t play around on the murder front. You’d really think in this day and age, what with yelp and whatnot that people would stop booking rooms at this murder trap. The beds can’t be THAT comfortable, they’ve got bodies stashed in them after all.
If you’re not watching this show, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Go get the FXNow app and binge watch to get caught up. You’ll only be sorry if you stay in room 64.
Who else is watching American Horror Story: Hotel?
