Okay, whew. You might want to watch it twice, just because I am certain you missed something the first time because you were feeling like Sif on Knowhere:
Not to worry, not to fret. The simple ol’ Tommy H. Committee is here to help. We did what we do best: freak out over Tom stuff via chat.
Warning: some Crimson Peak plot spoilers are within our chat.
We start at the very beginning. A very good place to start
Jamie: This video…
Lorena: YES.
like I need to watch it again (time #20something) because, yeah, Okay
first, the E.T. in the background
Jamie: There’s SO much to unpack here
Lorena: and then the fact that it actually looks like Tom’s handwriting on the envelope
but the letter is clearly printed from a computer
But the effort level of getting the most important part of the letter to be visually right on the camera
OMG.
I was in love with this video from the moment it began to zoom in on Tom’s mouth as he said, “and not murdering you in any way at all.”
Jamie: YES. “Hugs and kisses!”
Lorena: “T.”
and i love the loki’d laugh throw back when we see the PARTY sign
and then we arrive and it’s like The Shining
Lorena: Jamie.
I can’t even
like, the absurdity of this video pleases me so deeply
“you naughty little sausage”
Jamie: My favorite line!
All aboard the Hiddlestain train
Jamie: I am 1000% convinced that Tom and Jessica have the hots for each other btw
Lorena: Well, funny you should say that! I recently learned the actual plot to Crimson Peak, which you and I will never see
Jamie: Me too. Not really worried about spoilers since there’s no way I’m going to see it.
Lorena: and apparently Lucille and Thomas are lovers
Jamie: Barf
Lorena: (which I 100% predicted, sort of, if you recall)
So, I feel like this video is basically a play on Crimson Peak’s themes
Jamie: yeah, they made some allusions to that in one of the trailers I think
Lorena: I thought that they were dating back during shooting, but then all the rumors stopped and started on the Elizabeth/Tom train
Getting back on track…
Jamie: I actually started laughing by myself, in my room, when they each started stuffing 6 rice cakes in their mouths. Tom and Jessica can singlehandedly bring rice cakes back as a snack. We should buy stock in them now.
Lorena: YES. Who makes rice cakes? Quaker Oats?
I laughed this whole video.
And literally every subsequent viewing I laughed the same amount, if not more
When Tom goes “Boooooo” like he’s crying, is my favorite. I cry laughing there, just in anticipation of it I laugh.
Jamie: did we discuss Tom smashing the phone yet?
i don’t think so
Lorena: No we did not!
And i like how it’s “new” but clearly an older iphone
it looks like my phone, for instance, which isn’t new
Jamie: “that phone had to die so our friendship could live”
Lorena: YES
with the fan like a knife to his throat
“BABY BLUES.”
Jamie: Tom’s smile at the end of his two truths and a lie thing kills me
Jamie: Like, this video should be SO stupid that it’s not funny. And yet, it is.
Lorena: It’s because Jessica and him sell it so well. Her American enthusiasm makes it so real. He’s all “Two truths and a lie?” and she’s all, “YEEEEESSSS!”
OMG. Also, when they play two truths and a lie, I didn’t hear the beginning the first viewing. I thought they were playing Guess the movie, and I was like American Psycho?
Jamie: Him riding around on the toy horse. Heart eyes.
Lorena: OMG we haven’t even discussed the scene where they kiss him
it’s like
just too far
but so good
and Tom is like waiting, hovering to get in to kiss Josh
Jamie: he will have the last kiss
Lorena: always
Jamie: that’s just how Tom rolls
Jamie: You know the poor guy who played that DJ was just some regular guy who came to work that day, and they were like…
Lorena: HA !
Jamie: So…we’re doing this video and we need someone…
Lorena: I wondered… I was like “I wish that was Guillermo del Toro!”
Jamie: omg that would have been so great, if he took off the mask at the end and it was him
Sex, Drugs, and Not Breaking Character
Lorena: I am like… I’m so glad things like this exists
and I don’t get why people in the comments are all “What are Tom and Jess on? I want some of that”
Jamie: They’re having fun, people. Calm down.
Lorena: I don’t do drugs. I don’t judge drugs. But like… clearly they’re just making a silly video with absurdist humor
Jamie: this is the kind of video where if you’re having a bad day at work or something you watch it and instantly feel better
Lorena: RIGHT! It’s exactly that video.
“He’s a sensitive soul that guy”
I wonder how many takes this took
Jamie: there were points where it looks like they’re about to crack up
so i would guess several
Lorena: yes
and there’s the moment when Tom is crying
like his legit beautiful cry, and then they cut to Josh and Jessica having ugly fake cry
it’s so perfect
Jamie: Jessica’s threat of shoving her hand down his throat and pulling his dick off from the inside was amazing
Lorena: with her not so subtle use of the fan to slash Josh’s neck
Jamie: It’s my goal to use that on someone at some point in my life
Lorena: It was amazing because it was like she was going to fist him
And I feel like they sat down and were like, “How can we showcase all of Tom’s best attributes in one video?”
Lorena: and he does the Disney two finger point
omg.
this video is so many perfections
Jamie: I saw that too! haha
Lorena: Disney nerds ahoy
Jamie: where did they shoot this? it’s just this giant empty white room
Lorena: I think it’s an interview room at MTV
Jamie: i will love using quotes from this video in conversations with people even though they’ll have no idea
Lorena: I love when they pull each other aside and laugh at how funny they were
naughty little sausage seems so fake British
like do real British say that in actual life?
I feel like it’s a line written for Hugh Grant in a romcom
Jamie: totally
Lorena: I love that they named the character Freddie, like Freddie in Deep Blue Sea
Jamie: but he’s from Slovenia lol
i feel like there are more Slovenian names than Freddie
Lorena: Right
Though, Freddie Mercury is from Tanzania
Jamie: true
Lorena: “Cuz that’s what Hemsworth said before he filled my Loki helmet with jello”
Jamie: and then making mark ruffalo look like a jerk
Lorena: Mark is going to laugh so hard at that
Who Writes These Anyway?
Jamie: so how do these things come about do you think? does josh horowitz come up with the whole idea?
or is it just like. “we’re doing a party thing” and then they just do whatever they think will be funny
Lorena: No no, there’s a photo of Tom reading the script
photo by Liz Ribuffo
Lorena: like of course tom had to prep for the shoot [eye roll]
Jamie: that pic is so serious for what the end result was lol
Lorena: RIGHT! I’m not sure if Josh writes it though
Jamie: oh ok
Lorena: WHOEVER DOES, I want to meet
Jamie: yeah seriously
Lorena: because that person gets me
and you
Seriously
Why is Tom not our job?
Lorena: When I first watched I was like OMG JAMIE WILL LOVE THIS SO MUCH
and then as the day wore on, I was worried that you might not
and then you were all “OMG THIS VIDEO”
and I was like Jess going “Oh goody goody goody goody goody”
Jamie: i was at stupid work. why must we have jobs when things like this exist for us to freak out over
Lorena: I know
it’s So Rude
Jamie: I feel like I could quit my job, and then send my cable company a letter like “so I don’t have money to pay you because I’m not working anymore. BUT. Watch this video instead.”
I feel like that would totally fly.
Lorena: I feel like it would
if they were the right person
I’ve actually met people today who just did not understand this video
Jamie: i can see that. it’s kind of a specific sense of humor i think
Lorena: it definitely is
Sigh.
Lorena: “Am I early?”
“EARLY?!”
omg.
it’s just so good
like the whiplash of Tom’s emotions
he’s so sociopathic in this
it’s utter brilliance
though i think this is in New York, cuz I rewatched Loki’d and there was a safety sign for New York
Jamie: omg you were so close while this was being filmed…
Lorena: But I always thought that was in LA
but I guess not
RIGHT
Like, he was here for like 5 or 6 days
I couldn’t emotionally handle it
Jamie: could you feel his energy!?
Lorena: no
he was keeping it contained
across the river.
jerk.
Jamie: so cruel
Lorena: i know
I would keep seeing all these pics on tumblr
and be like
Oh. If only I had known.
Except work was soooo busy that even if I had known, I would not have been able ot go
Basically I’m like the worst Tom Hiddleston beat writer
lol
Jamie: it’s the passion that counts! which knows no distance…
Lorena: I love you
and Tom would love that comment
like
he would SAY that comment
source (see also: our gif editing magic)
Jamie: he so would
Lorena: “Darling, it’s the passion that counts. Passion knows no distance.”
Jamie: it would sound way better in his voice
Lorena: as I said it in his voice in my head
i realized he’d likely say “that matters” rather than “that counts”
OKay
I need to go for a walk
while there’s still sunshine
because my soul requires it
Jamie: to calm yourself? lol
Lorena: #vitaminD
#EGBTT
Jamie: love
Lorena: Until next time… for, uh, Tom
