Unless it’s playing hooky from work and taking a road trip with your friends.
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So, this past week, while everyone was prepping for the Pope’s arrival or waiting for Donald Trump to announce he was dropping out of humanity the presidential race, my own squad and I decided it was time to get away from California and make our way to the great, hydrated northern way: Oregon.
In my opinion, a road trip is one of the ultimate tests of friendship. From what music playlist to blast during your drive to what you’re actually going to do when you arrive to whether or not you’re finally going to break into the forbidden minibar – a road trip can either solidify bonds or relegate your friendship to Christmas newsletter addressee status.
Rather than risk your friendship and lose the only people who legitimately read your Facebook status updates and give a shit about your MLM candle business, here’s a few hints on how to have a fabulous squad road trip.
Oh, and also: SHOTGUN, suckas.
It’s All About the Squad
Sure, this is the most obvious way to have a great road trip, but it’s also the most challenging.
Be honest: we all have those friends that we could spend not only days but weeks, even decades, with. If the Supreme Court ever legalized hetero-lifemate marriages, you and your sister from another mister (or brother from another mother) would be first in line after registering at Anthropologie. Get ready, Kim Davis.
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And then there are those friends who have a short shelf-life before it’s time for you to fake an emergency phone call from your great, great, great grandmother, who was most likely deceased before you were born, about how she’s fallen and can’t get up.
Technically, not a lie.
While I’m sure you have a wide circle of friends that could fill a Taylor Swift concert venue, your road trip squad needs to be selected and crafted carefully like a fine wine. (Screw top optional. Who am I to judge?)
A successful road trip starts with balance in the squad force: not everyone can be the woo-hoo girl – the first one to jump on a tabletop and dance, even if that’s during a bathroom break at McDonald’s. (FYI: it’s frowned upon.)
Someone has to be the reality check – the one who reminds you that posting an Instagram photo of you and a cactus in a sexually explicit position may not be the best idea.
Then there’s the researcher – the person who finds the world’s best fried kale burrito or the city’s tiniest bar.
And who could forget the social butterfly, who strikes up a conversation with any random stranger and by the end of the night is named Godmother of future children?
But in the end, the best squad to take on a road trip are the people you love. Coincidentally, those are also the people who will not only lend a hand when you trip and fall, but also have their camera phones ready to capture that very moment.
The First Item on the Schedule? DESTROY THE SCHEDULE
Our lives are inevitably ruled by schedules: catch the train at this time, morning meeting at this time, kids’ yoga class at this time, drink vodka out of your reusable Starbucks cup at this time.
Why in the hell would you want the same for your squad road trip?
Really, the only time you need to be concerned with is what time to leave, when Holiday Inn stops serving their free continental breakfast, and the last call for happy hour. Other than that, fuck the time. Enjoy where you are and who you are with and stop worrying about the minute hand moving or where you have to be at a certain time.
Do you know where you have to be during a squad road trip? Wherever you damn well want to be.
And when you finally stop staring at your watch, you open the door for spontaneity and amazing memories.
But still keep that appointment with your vodka because that’s dedication.
Let Your Freak, Uninhibited Flag Fly
The beauty of a road trip is leaving not only your everyday duties on the back burner but also your inhibitions.
Now, I don’t mean you should break the law and go on the lam weekend – unless that’s your thing, Thelma and Louise – but chances are you’re going somewhere different, a place that you won’t hear, “Can you wipe my butt,” “We’ll need you to come in on Saturday” or “Honey, it’s been over four hours. Should I go to the hospital?”
Essentially, you’re going to a place where you can let it all go, be with friends, and relax. Don’t be afraid to laugh a little louder, eat the dessert because squad road trips burn calories, accidentally fart in front of your friends and own it, or finally embrace your inner woo-hoo girl and jump on that tabletop when your guilty pleasure song comes on the speakers. (Don’t lie: you know it’s Justin Bieber’s new song.)
Your only goal? Make it a squad road trip to remember!
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What tips do you have to make the ultimate squad road trip? Let us know in the comments or send us a tweet!
