But let’s face it, a summertime regret’s genesis starts as a brilliant idea. I blame the heat.
For me, summer regrets typically revolve around my fashion choices. Once again, I blame the heat. It usually starts with the thought, “Well, I’m not going out, so no one is here to judge me” and quickly morphs into “I’m just going to the store. Who am I going to run into?” The answer? Everyone you’ve ever known and your high school crush who still is so hot that it makes you go back into your high school yearbook and redraw hearts over his face. Next thing you know, you’re in a bar on a Friday night rocking a bathing suit cover up because it’s free flowing shape actually covers up your bloated stomach.
No one will ever suspect this is a coverup. Brilliant.
Now before I begin, I’m still rocking these trends because summer isn’t over yet, and I’ve come to accept that this time next year, when I look back on my Instagrams from Summer of ‘15, I may be mortified. So really, this is for my future self. Sorry, Future Julie. I’m sure you thought it looked fabulous at the time. Also, I’m not saying these are trends for you to drop from your vast repertoire of style. These are my go to trends that may one day make me question my sanity. So, keep on rocking your running capris and tank tops that say, “Run 4 Lyfe,” even when the idea of running gives you side cramps.
Here’s my Summer of 2015 Trends that I can’t avoid but probably should:
Milkmaid Braids
Oh, milkmaid braids. Who knew taking two braids and pinning them to the top of your head would be something that is my go-to summer hairstyle staple. And nothing drips with more sex appeal like the phrase, “milkmaid braid.” Oh, wait. It doesn’t.
My actual milkmaid braid. My bangs hide my shame.
Yes, they keep my neck cool, keep my hair out of my face and it’s something different from the typical ponytail. But this hairstyle alone makes me look like I should be wearing lederhosen and yodeling songs about cheese and neutrality in the Swiss Alps.
As I write this, I’m actually wearing this hairstyle. I’m milking it for all it’s worth. (Hair pun. You’re welcome.)
Rompers
As we get older, we start getting creative with our synonyms for certain items that were once relics of our childhood and we have since reintroduced into our mature, active lifestyles. We use the phrase “3 wheel bicycle” instead of tricycle. “Meditation hour” sounds far more acceptable than “nap time.” (And yes, I do believe in meditation, but let’s just say if you wake up an hour or two later from the start of your mediation and wonder what happened, what happened was you took a nap. And it was damn good, so own it.) Um, costume themed bar crawls? Hi Halloween for adults but instead of seeing how many Hot Tamales and Lemonheads you scored, you’re taking shots of Fireball Whisky and counting lemon drops as a part of your daily fruit intake.
So, let’s be honest: rompers are onesies for adult women. And yes, I’m in love with them. Who has time for pants and all those buttons and zippers? And don’t even get me started on matching a shirt. With a onesie romper, it’s all taken care for you. It’s like buying a two-in-one outfit, so really you’re being economical. Suzy Orman would be proud.
Okay, so rompers do have a slight drawback (and yes, I’m going there): accessibility for when mother nature calls. You literally have to strip down in only your bra and pray that the bathroom stall lock actually works because once someone walks in on you in that position wearing your “Laundry Day” bra, there’s no going back.
There have been times when I know that a romper will be my outfit choice that my liquid intake has decreased, pretty much making my kidney’s hate me. But that’s the price you pay for fashion. Coco Chanel would understand. (She probably would never understand the romper, however.)
Palazzo Pants
Elastic waistband? Check. Wide leg cut? Check. Thin cotton material that you wish everything in your closet, including your wedding dress, was made out of? Check. A design that reminds you of your grandmother’s couch from a JC Penney’s furniture sale from 1975? Check.
Take off the plastic cover, and you have H&M’s fall palazzo pants’ design.
This summer, if I’m not wearing a romper, I’m wearing palazzo pants. Sure, the patterns can sometimes resemble a rorschach test (It looks like clouds on a winter’s day…or my father. Analyze that one.). Yes, the shape may not be that flattering on any body type and we all end up looking like extras in a MC Hammer music video. But when you are that comfortable, you couldn’t give a flying shit.
So for me, palazzo pants are this summer’s yoga pants. It’s like Forever 21 meets child’s pose. Namaste.
Oversized Hats
During the summer, there are times when not even a milkbraid hairdo can save you from the heat. So, I undo the braids and remove the three million bobby pins and grab a hat. And I’ve found that not only does the top of my head needs protection from the sun, but pretty much my entire body and the ground surrounding me needs shade. Enter the big ass hat. It’s like my own MacHalo from the Fever Series.
https://instagram.com/p/3C0TuXJcDl/
Sure, the hat saves me from the deathly rays of global warming. But it also prevents me from seeing my next step and any door jam or lightpole. For my first time wearing this, I had a crick in my neck for stretching my head back in order to see where I was going. Six Advils and some Icy Hot later, it was worth it.
What trends can you not resist, no matter how hard you try? Leave a comment or tweet us your irresistible trends. Attach a picture if you can. We promise not to judge!*
*Sorta
