1. The lighting design on this scene
Thank you, Lighting Design Person, for this Most Holy of Glows on Jamie’s face. We praise your name for your attention to light and shadow, the play of fabricated early morning sunbeams across that post-coital stubble and the ubiquitous mole. Thank you as well, Lighting Technicians for laboring with exacting standards the necessary tools that consequently provided viewers with this angelic glory.
GLORY. Alleluia.
2. Familiar Faces
Because you don’t see Yoren make an appearance and not think, he “could shave a spider’s arse if [he] wanted to.” At least, Game of Thrones fans don’t. I MISS YOU, YOREN. What is dead may never die. Especially when it shows up on other premium TV shows.
3. Subtle Word Play
I love it when a danger hides in the bullrushes, don’t you? Or … sometimes when it just BARRELS FULL STEAM AHEAD at you like the Hogwarts Express. In other words, impossible to miss. This is the most unsubtle dinner conversation of all time. There are zero undercurrents or surreptitious threats.
Taran: Funny how Ian’s never mentioned you before, Jamie. If that’s your real name.
Jenny: Maybe if you weren’t a total lush you’d remember. I mean, it’s not like I’m trying to get you totally sloshed tonight so you’ll be a useless threat to us and forget anything you might see or hear by tomorrow.
Jamie: So when are you getting the f— outta my hou … I mean, out of Ian’s house?
Claire: Get your nasty feet of my table!
Acid Burn Face: It’s not your table, hooker … it’s that other hooker’s. You’re just a cous-in-law, RIIIIIGHHHT????
Claire: Oh yeah. Right. Still you’re gross.
Jamie: Why don’t you let me fix your horse for you, so you can GET THE EFF OUTTA HERE FASTER.
Taran: Sure. I bet you are really good with horses since you are so obviously full of horseshit.
Ian: Hahaha, oh you two!
4. Warrior!James
Because if you haven’t been DYING to see Jamie Fraser throw down this season, why are you here? I think over the whole of this first season, we’ve been under the impression that Jamie is only as good a fighter as the rest of the Highlanders he’s been hanging out with. After all, Angus teaches Claire how to fight with a knife. Murtagh has had to have Jamie’s back in every fight, even shinty. Heck, if it weren’t for Ned Gowan, they’d have lost a lot more than a horse in the glade and Claire would be a crispy strip of Sassebacon.
But here we have James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser taking none of your shit because dammit, you burnt his hay. He’s seen your lack of honor and he will raise you a hefty bowl of SIT THE F— DOWN, SIR. He doesn’t need Murtagh backing him, or Dougal baiting him. He is Laird Broch Turach and he will mess you up. Over some hay.
5. Maternity Lies
I appreciate Jenny finally looking like she’s actually with child and not with Pillow Pet, but I gotta call Anachronistic Metaphors for $500 here. “When your man’s inside ye … and that throbbing begins. Feels like that.” Uh, no. It doesn’t. Never once when pregnant did an 8-lb human baby inside my torso feel like any kind of sex. Like, never ever. Felt like digestive issues? Sure.
Still rocking a MAYBE 7-months along fake belly.
I like how Jenny seems relatively calm at the beginning of her labor but then turns back into … herself … right before the baby comes. That’s hella accurate. But this belly action? The “I’m going to have to turn your breech baby around with my hands while you lie there” action? Total bullshit. I mean, I know turning babies happens and can work, but it doesn’t look anything like this.
A) Full term pregnant bellies on small frame mothers have NO give. ZERO squish. Especially once you are in labor.Think of the tighest skin of all time being compressed even further by involuntary and powerful muscle contractions. The only way that belly is visibly changing shape is from the inside out. Forget thinking Claire’s dainty little fingers are going to be able to knead it like dough. Also, if someone is trying to move your baby through layers of skin, muscle and tough as hell uterine lining YOU WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE. But Jenny looks like she’s enjoying that romp through the heather, no big. I call BS.
This is just a food baby.
6. Besties 4 Lyfe
I love Jamie and Ian together. Enough to admit that if there was fanfiction out there … well, you know where I am headed with this. But, listening to Ian’s war stories, hearing Jenny talk about their brotherhood, seeing them argue and push one another to right decisions and knowing that the two of them respect and value each other was my favorite part of this episode.
“You my boo.”
“No, you MY boo. Now, wanna hear me say ‘fornication’ again?”
7. Questionable Codes of Conduct
I assume that we are supposed to be appalled by Taran’s murky sense of justice and honor, but as we see Jamie subtley consider his proposal it makes you think: this guy is kind of right on the money for their time. This sunburnt Scottish gangster sees the world the way it IS, not the way he idealizes it to be. Jamie could truthfully learn something from his practicality. I liked that Taran turned out not to be a 100% villain and instead was an honorable mix of right and wrong.
8. Foreshadowing 101 with the Frasers
Claire: Whatever happens, we’ll handle it. No matter the cost.
Jamie: Thanks, Claire. Now we all know that some serious shit is bout to go down.
Claire: Well, haste ye back, or I’ll follow you and you won’t like it.
Jamie: Oooookay, so now we are gonna be separated while the shit goes down. Jesus, Claire, you’ve been narrating this nonsense for a baker’s dozen episodes. Haven’t you learned anything about casual narrative impetus by now?
Claire: I have. Haven’t you learned by now that I don’t like playing second fiddle to you and Jenny in these past couple of episodes? We gotta get the hell outta Lallybroch, so I can get the story back.
Jamie: Touche.
9. Maternity Truths
Everybody becomes a total Jenny when they’re in labor. I had a moment of PTSD when the watchman yells at Jenny to quit screaming. My OBGYN looked up at me at one point and said to quit scaring the rest of the moms on the floor. WHAT? It hurt. Also, cussing at everyone in hearing distance? Accurate. Crawling on all fours like the horses we just saw galloping on the road? Also accurate. Giving birth on your back is ridiculous in terms of pain management. A million times yes for “I can’t do this” over and over. Embarrassing, but accurate. Looking towards the end like you are experiencing the worst poop of your life? SO accurate.
10. THIS FACE
Because you don’t even KNOW yet, Claire. You don’t even KNOW.
Someone hold me.
Who’s completely unprepared for the final three episodes of Outlander? Who wants to pretend the season ended with that fingerband scene by the campfire? ME TOO.
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