I have a sinking feeling this shot will be used again and again. No complaints here.
So get ready everyone: we’re going to hear a lot more about nipple clamps, spreader bars, and butt plugs. And that’s just the conversation going around at your grandmother’s canasta game.
As someone who does appreciate well-written erotica, I’ve read my fair share of thrusting, panting, gyrating, and pretty much anything else that left me Googling and then quickly clearing my browser history.
But for me, there can be too much of a good thing, and erotica sex scenes start to merge into one giant orgy. Next you know, the only “Read Next” recommendations you’re getting from Barnes and Noble have either a bare chested man on the cover, a title containing the word “Heat,” or have a cover image of a rumpled bed that was definitely not the result of not knowing your sleep number.
When those times hit, I need a little detox. A little time in the off season to recharge and regroup.
But unlike the cold turkey route that would leave me shaking, sweating, and writhing in pain (Wait, did I just write the beginnings of an ingenue erotica sex scene? Why, yes I did!), my detox doesn’t completely shun sex or go the polar opposite and portray romance Duggar family style that starts with a parental chaperoned date and ends with a first kiss…on the wedding night. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; I just need a little more.
So, for those who need a little respite from the ten paged sex scene but still want that flushed feeling of luv, here are a few suggestions that will help when you feel Fifty Shades of Overkill.
Big Stone Gap
I read this book before I read Outlander. So, when I first met James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser, I immediately thought of Jack Mac, the love interest of main character. And that means one thing: any man whose name begins with J and has Mac somewhere in his surname is sexy in my book of hot fictional men.
Adriana Trigiani’s story takes place in the title setting, a little town in the Appalachian Mountains, and features Ave Maria Mulligan, a thirty-five year old pharmacist who has resigned herself to her self-proclaimed spinsterhood. Enter childhood acquaintance Jack Mac, whose first attempts to change Ave Maria’s spinster status are met with disastrous results. But Jack‘s patient and persistence pays off for not only Ave Maria but for the reader as well.
Although the love story is only a thread in the tapestry of Big Stone Gap, which is the first in a four book series, the relationship between Ave Maria and Jack Mac will satisfy those romance cravings.
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
Okay, the title is a little long and seems like authors Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows played Mad Libs, but this is the book that I always suggest to friends looking for a rich love story.
To be honest, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is not a light hearted romance. It takes place post World War II in the English island of Guernsey, which was under Nazi occupation during the war. The community of Guernsey is dealing with the aftermath of this occupation and searching for answers into the capture of the beloved Elizabeth, the founder of the titular book club.
But, the story, told through a series of letters and journal entries, is a romance between the main character, Juliet, and a whole community. (Simmer down. I don’t mean orgy romance. It was a test: if your mind went there, you need a break from erotica.) Yes, there is her immediate connection with the quiet pig farmer Dawsey Adams that makes you read on to see if these two crazy kids finally confess their feelings to each other. But there is also Juliet’s unconditional love for Elizabeth’s four-year-old daughter, Kit that for me makes up the heart of this story.
TGLPPS (My computer is telling me this is wrong, so people, make this acronym happen!) is not in your face with romance. There are no sex scenes, and the words “loins” and “penetration” are no where to be found. However, what it is is a breath of fresh air and a reminder that love stories can be just as simple as writing a letter.
The Blue Heron Series
I bow down to Kristan Higgins, who, for me, is pretty much the queen of writing a love scene without going into the actual deed itself. She starts with foreplay, which usually consists of a lot of take-your-breath-away-back-against-the-wall-make-you-forget-your-name kissing, a boob caress here, an ass squeeze there; and before you know it, BAM! The two lovers are basking in afterglow.
Some may think this is just literary blue balls: teasing the reader only to come up short. But Ms. Higgins provides just enough of foreplay heat that anything more would be gilding the lily. In short, she knows when to stop and coincidently leaves you both wanting more and satisfied.
Although all of her books are stand alone and wonderful, her Blue Heron Series (The Best Man, The Perfect Match, Waiting on You, and In Your Dreams) features what you need when coming down from an erotica overload: hot men (One is winemaker and another one has a British accent! Rawr.), relatable women (Honor and Emmaline are my favorite, and I think if they were real, we would all be best friends and they would hook me up with Connor. Read the books, dammit!), humor and just the right amount of romance. What’s even better is that her storylines have meat to them and are not just your typical female protagonist waiting around for a man to sweep her off her feet and take her to his secret room of S&M toys.
For those who still wish for the thrill of the chase, the heated kisses, and the double entendres, The Blue Heron series and pretty much anything by Kristan Higgins will help you during your time of need.
So what books do you read when you need an erotica detox? Let us know your favorites in the comments or tweet us your suggestions!
