The Future Is Now: Wine Ice Cream Is A Thing

I‘ll admit that I don’t have the biggest sweet tooth. I’m more of a salty carb girl. But sometimes you just need some ice cream. I’ll also admit that I’m not really a drinker. I think the grand total of the most drinks I’ve ever had in one day is three and a half. But sometimes you just need some alcohol. To the delight of everyone everywhere, a genius-hero hybrid came up with the idea of of bringing ice cream and wine together as one. More than a little jealous that you didn’t come up with this idea yourself? Me too.

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If you were aware that wine ice cream existed before today, you’re way more up on things than I am. I’m a little upset with you for not informing me, but we’ll talk it out over some Chocolate Cabernet. Has my lack of regular desire for both ice cream and alcohol backfired so spectacularly that I’m one of the few who didn’t know that I could have this? It’s one of those inventions that you didn’t know you needed until you see it. At first I thought it sounded a bit weird, but then I really pondered it.

Pros:

1. It is ice cream.

2. It has wine in it.

Cons:

1. ……

2. *cricket noises and tumble weeds*

 

The applications for something like this are endless:

Bad day at work? WINE ICE CREAM.

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Book club with friends? WINE ICE CREAM.

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Break-up/unrequited crush/other romantic disappointments? ICE CREAM COMBINED WITH WINE.

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Catching up on TV on a snuggly rainy afternoon? WINE THAT IS ICE CREAM AT THE SAME TIME.

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Late night snack? ALCOHOLIC ICE CREAM WHERE THE ALCOHOL IN QUESTION IS WINE.

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Particularly bad PMS? WINE. ICE. CREAM. AND BY THAT I MEAN ALL THE INGREDIENTS OF WINE AND ICE CREAM COMBINED TOGETHER.

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If you’re so inclined there are a ton of recipes so you can make your own. (Seriously? More power to you if you go that route.) The rest of us will look for it at a fancy grocery store or order it online. Which you can totally do. Surely on his first day as postmaster general Benjamin Franklin envisioned the United Stated Postal Service being used for a purpose like this. Go nuts everyone!

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