TN'S Guide to Gifts that Don't Suck: Fishs Eddy Brooklynese Collection

Every December my gal pals and I take the Northeast Corridor train down to New York City to do some Christmas shopping. The lights! The sales! The bouts of agita as we elbow through the throngs of people trying to get to Rockefeller Plaza! It’s a giant tree people. BFD. Al Roker is not there. Stop asking.

Our long weekend usually goes like this: French toast. Shop. Bloody Mary’s. Shop. Flirt with the Santa at Saks. Shop. Walk into Macy’s. Get the hell out of Macy’s. Cocktails. Dinner. Karaoke at Duets on 35^th Street til 2 AM. Pass out. Wake up. Repeat.

_{Me, right before I belted out Heart’s Alone.}

During our NYC shopping excursion, one of our “must stop” stores is Fishs Eddy.

In the heart of the Flatiron District, Fishs Eddy touts itself as a purveyor of “Amercian Sturdyware.” It’s stuff for your kitchen and dining room, y’all. Dishes and glasses and flatware and linens.

I fell in love with this store the moment I walked in and saw their Heroes of the Torah coasters displayed next to a copy Amy Sedaris’ I Like You. Forget the Green Arrow. Yitzchak Spector is the true super hero.

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My favorite thing at Fishs Eddy is their Brooklynese collection of glasses and servingware. Anything from this collection is a “Gift That Doesn’t Suck.”

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But don’t let the name dissuade you. This collection can really appeal to anyone on the Eastern Seaboard.

Say creamer like you’re from Brooklyn. Creamuh.

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Butter. Say it like you’re from South Boston. Buttah.

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Say sugar like you’re from Charleston. Shuguh.

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Yes, from Gloucester, Massachusetts, to Savannah, Georgia, our regional accents are different to the ear. Different inflections. Different diphthongs. Different drawls. But we all seem to forget that R sound.

The best thing in the Brooklynese collection? The condoms.