As I was watching Episode 4 of Sons, I tried to follow all the live tweets that were happening along with the explosive events but eventually I gave up as my neurons were on fire what with the explosions, the tranny love, the whores everywhere and trying to get the German Shepard joke – (got it now, thanks) that I had to abandon Twitter (say it isn’t so) and focus on the episode. This one was for those that said Sons of Anarchy Season 7 was dragging. #itsonlikedonkeykong. I decided to form my review in homage to the hashtags I tweeted out during the episode.
1. #shitjustgotreal
This was my personal hashtag and you could have inserted it anywhere in the show, but I chose to use it when Cain got his head blown in. A serious case of wrong place, wrong time for those 2 cops. Ron Tulley aka Marilyn Mason, (what is wrong with me that I would prefer to see that guy in full makeup as opposed to his current eyebrow less, bloated look he’s sporting) and his German Shepards certainly are trigger happy. This was the scene where I realized not many were going to make it out alive this year.
2. #tigandvenus4eva
This episode saw the triumphant return of Venus Van Dame, the tranny who stole Tigs heart. We find out he has been seeing her all this time and not letting anyone know and it looks like they have a bond that I found extremely tender. Like finds like and these two tortured souls were portrayed amazingly by Kim Coates and Walter Goggins. They took away their genders and sexuality and gave us just the Tig and Venus story and my heart was happy for Tiggy. It wasn’t happy he had a pile of bullets in his belly, though. Add this to the pile of obvi reasons Gemma shouldn’t have offed Tara. Nobody to illegally stitch up the MC.
3. #thebitchisback
The dirty whoremaster, Collette is back and wastes no time trying to jump right into Jax’s pants. My club and I are all in agreement, she’s gotta die. She figures he would need a good set of pillows to rest his weary and sad head on. All puns intended here folks. She even got the Gemma stamp of approval – it’s a rubber stamp and gets you a free pass to either jail or the looney bin. Those two bond and then all my prayers were answered when she appears at the end, with a blank stare on her cold, dead face. #dingdongthewitchisdead and all that. How wrong was my sigh of relief that she didn’t miraculously survive the slaughter?
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4. #bitchbecra
I’m a mom. I’ve fought my way through and survived the mom drop off zone. I may have even pulled a Gemma, and I loved Courtney Love in this scene and I loved Gemma’s “you’ll be shitting mochaccinos for a week,” comment to the mom police. I need to file that one away for future use. There is nothing more dangerous than moms staking their position on the half circle of the no parking zone in front of a school yard.
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5. #hoedown , AKA #ChinesegoneIrish, AKA #everybodywaskungfufighting
The Chinese are back and boy are they back. They racked up hoes and club members (RIP West – the member no one remembers anyway) and made Jackson and his gang very, very angry and we all know what happens then. People start to lose their teeth, get their bits cut off, and Jax’s hair starts to look like this.
6. #bowchickabowbow
So, I felt the backlash from my Chibs bullying last week….in abundance. My opinion still holds, but I will quiet the voice within when it comes to questioning why this guy is getting all the lady love. But things look like Chibs is gonna be the only club member without a silencer on his big gun…..#walmarthadasaleonsilencers So here you go Chibettes. Just for you.
I can’t wait to tune in next week. Looks like things are unravelling pretty quickly for Gemma. And I read today that Charlie Hunnam promised nudie Jax in 2 episodes yet to be seen. I’ve had enough of looking at Juice’s crazy ass!
And I leave you with this pic to gaze upon until next week….the hotness that is Charlie Hunnam… and his lady love, Gemma #mommyfettish
Where is Sons of Anarchy season 7 going? How do you think it will end? What’s your hashtag for the week?
Sons of Anarchy is on Tuesday nights at 10 pm on FX
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Written by Holly
Holly’s current obsessions: Sons of Anarchy, writing erotic fiction, reading erotic fiction, Diet Pepsi, horses, singing in the shower, live music, listening to music, while running on the treadmill, while creating characters needed for my erotic fiction, while drinking Diet Pepsi and possibly riding a horse.
In my spare time, I write novels, parent 2 young children and a husband, obsess over various novels and television characters. I hail from Canada and end every sentence with the word, eh? I also might live in an igloo and put maple syrup on everything I eat. Follow me on twitter @Mortimerreads
