Things you need to know going into a marriage. Financially secure? Debt? Chemistry? Or as Beth said yesterday, “If you cannot watch TV with a person, don’t get married.”
I asked a few questions through a very unofficial google survey that are taken from a dating site to see where some of our dear readers net out. Things that you might really want to know before dating someone, let alone marry them. But on MAFS, these are experts who did the matching right?
- How important is it to you that your partner be accepted by your family and friends?
- When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?
- Would you rather date someone who is: very busy, busy, slightly busy, not busy?
I went with these specific questions because we seem to see our couples facing these very issues. From our very unscientific poll, most would hope their partner was accepted by family and friends stating it’s important but sometimes they are wrong. Regarding personal space in a relationship, it’s split fairly evenly between considerable alone time and one night a week. And when it comes to schedule, almost 2/3 would prefer someone who is busy, with a structured schedule, you know what days the person will be available for fun.
Were these questions that our experts used during the matching? Vaughn doesn’t want to go to brunch but it’s important that he meet Monet’s friends. Jamie can’t make it a softball game and Doug’s mom is still a little skeptical. Vaughn is the only who has addressed the personal space need (Sundays are very much about not talking.) And looking at Cortney and Jason’s schedule as well as Doug & Jamie’s, knowing when your partner is available can make or break a relationship.
Day 10
I’m still in a neck brace from Vaughn’s whiplash… it hasn’t changed much this episode. He says he wants to have a solid thing with Monet before meeting her friends or invite some other people in. (please remember this statement from day 10 when I bring up something else later in this post.) Monet’s reaction is to call Vaughn ridiculous. Is that name calling? Vaughn thinks so. Is sexual intimacy the only intimacy Monet and Vaughn have? Dr. Levkoff asks the same thing.
If you muted during this scene you might think Vaughn and Monet were having a relaxing meditative tai chi session on the couch.
Will a simple argument send them over the edge? Where is that fine line of letting your guard down even someone annoys you. Can you have a genuine connection when someone is annoyed by you personally? And when Vaughn says: how bubbly you are is annoying to me… ? I wanted to smack that boy! I would have had to walk out of the room before some very choice words were had.
Jamie & Doug
We know that Doug is accepting of Jamie’s quirks, and Lady loves him so that’s a win when the dog loves your man…
I appreciated that they had an honest conversation over dinner on their makeshift little table. Discussing their fears and answering honestly. And yes, when Doug says: “I know her morals and her values” it makes every girl swoon and hope that this couple makes it. Jamie’s new mantra for the two of them?
by Ginger Monkey
Jamie is working a 12-hour night shift so Doug’s going to take care of lady first night alone. He’s talking to his mom and says Jamie gave him a few little gifts to remember her by. His mom’s response?
Jamie can’t make it to softball because she can’t get someone to cover her shift. Will Doug’s mom get the chance to know Jamie?
Jason & Cortney
Jason has been dealing with his hardships on his own. It’s all he’s ever known. Cortney is ready to care about someone else’s needs more than my own and to be completely in when she said: I trusted him immediately. Rarely does that happen. Jason & Cortney have it right.
Those who IKEA together – stick together!
Monet & Vaughn
Vaughn is in the National Guard and one time a year an extended duty is required so he’s going away for the weekend. but Monet will come down after work on Friday. Monet finds it disappointing that a week into marriage they need a break from each other.
Struggling with communication, Monet reached out to Dr. Pepper… how can you give Vaughn the space and still untangle the mystery that is Vaughn’s expectation. He may want the reigns.
Do you see what I see over Monet’s right shoulder?
Side note, we’ve asked the most important question of Monet.
Jason says gentlemen never tell and from this photo, he’s hesitant to share about him and Cortney. Or is he getting wrapped up in his head? He’s not waiting for something bad to happen but not sure where things going and trying to protect himself. Is Cortney too good to be true?
Two Weeks In
So we’re on day 14 I think now. Monet has met Vaughn in New Jersey and they go out to a nice Italian restaurant. Here are some of Vaughn’s best lines/suggestions
“We should do this at home, cook a meal… we could try? And when I say “us,” I mean you… cooking.”
Vaughn suggests setting up stores – water and food so they never have to leave – just have sex all day. Monet’s response? **crickets**
It’s like they don’t know how to talk to each other because then he drops this bomb:
I’m proud of Monet’s response:
You have got to be kidding me, that is not reality. I am worthy than more than some mediocre BS…
I don’t want to be so hard on them. This has got to be so hard watching your private life unfold on TV and for everyone’s reactions. Both Monet and Vaughn live tweet their thoughts during the episode. They are still here on the show and we don’t know where they go. Even Dr. Joseph Cilona, one of the experts, tweets:
Even Monet admits it’s hard to watch.
Trying to make Vaughn a little more comfortable they decide to move his bed to her apartment. But how do you make a relationship work when people won’t open up, won’t communicate, have trust issues or feel like they have one foot in and one foot out. But I’m glad I’ve got my neck brace on when Vaughn makes his next golden comment: “Newsflash, you’re not perfect either, how dare you judge me?”
Hang in there Monet and Vaughn. Hoping you can, as Dr. Pepper suggests, See that the problem is the problem and not each other as the problem.
On the flip side, we’ve got guys everywhere now having to keep up with Doug & Jason. Jason leaves love notes, Doug takes care of Lady.
Five weeks isn’t enough time to get to know someone and make a decision about knowing if you want to be with them. Does working a night shift lead to higher rate of divorce or dissatisfaction in marriage/relationship? Will changing work schedules keep our couples together? Will Jamie get to spend quality time with Doug’s Mom? Will Cortney meet Jason’s mom?
We did get one question answered tonight via tweets:
CHECK OUT ALL OUR MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT RECAPS HERE
Married at First Sight is on the FYI Channel, Tuesdays at 9 ET/ 10 PT
Screen Caps by Emily
