In relationships that have already jumped to the sexual aspects, it is important to keep up with the emotional intimacy at the same rate. Most would agree that a healthy, sexual relationship with your partner is going to be more satisfying if you have a strong, emotionally intimate connection. Intimacy does not always need to be sexual. Can you be emotionally intimate if you haven’t been sexually intimate? Do you compartmentalize the two at the risk of being hurt? These are the questions that our couples discuss on this week’s episode all about intimacy and revealing innermost secrets and getting behind those walls.
Dr. Logan Levkoff, Sexologist
Episode 6 is still recapping quite a bit so, sadly, we have to sit through that narrative. But the couples each get a visit from Dr. Logan Levkoff, the resident sexologist and from her website:
Why she agreed to be involved with MAFS (blogged on Huffington Post)
I worry that we are so used to jumping in and out of relationships that we don’t even know what’s worth fighting for anymore. We tend to run at the first obstacle instead of working our way through challenges. This experiment asks people to commit so that they have to fight for something. They have to put the work in — the work that we all need to put in — into partnerships.
Reality TV and dating shows like the Bachelor aren’t my normal TV fare. I think that’s why, like Dr. Levkoff, I’m so intrigued by this show. The couples who stay together don’t win a million dollars, no one gets kicked off the island. It’s about a bigger leap of faith than many people choose to put into relationships these days. Maybe I’m putting too much thought into analyzing these people’s happily ever after but it’s such an out-there thing to do. The show was renewed last week for Season 2. Is it still unknown enough to get people to try out for it? Or will people jump at the chance, knowing exactly what they have to go through.
Jason & Cortney
Last week Jason’s friend Neph visited, remember the fist bump? But He and Dr. Logan have it right, be open with your partner.
Opening up and showing each other who you truly are. Something that two weeks in, Jason and Cortney still haven’t done. Talked about those deeper issues. Jason doesn’t want to talk about his feelings. And it seems that he’s starting to put walls up which is hitting Cortney kind of hard. Jason holds things close to the vest, doesn’t talk about emotions. Cortney feels that “We’re playing house right now.”
Doug & Jamie
Our favorite couple sets out to buy a new bed, together. It’s interesting to hear them talk about not knowing how the other sleeps. Jamie still has her guard up. Doug doesn’t want her to think he might take advantage of her. You can’t be in a relationship if you’re constantly scared you’re going to get hurt.
Monet & Vaughn
And now to Monet & Vaughn. I really don’t know what to say. This couple is the subject of our love, hate, loathing, cheering and editing. From getting 2 minutes of a 3 hour dinner conversation to whiplash from mood swings from both Vaughn & Monet. The one thing that comes out of this episode is that Monet sees it isn’t just Vaughn who is to blame for the issues in their 16-day marriage.
They both will talk and ask questions and try to get to the bottom of things but never actually resolve anything. What we know is that Monet still doesn’t completely trust him and they can argue and be very angry at each other but still have sex. And then move on. Do the issues get dealt with? They both say things they don’t mean and they still don’t see eye to eye on stability and expectations that are projected onto a relationship. They aren’t getting over issues, but they keep pressing on with life. Vaughn isn’t a quitter and will see this experiment through but the two of them have yet to connect with each other.
At two weeks, Dr. Levkoff is going to step in and try to help our couples get past the walls, into the deeper issues that no one seems to be talking about. She’ll meet with all of the couples, first individually then together
Emotional chemistry hasn’t happened for Monet & Vaughn but that hasn’t stopped them from being physically intimate. Monet says she can compartmentalize. Emotional and Physical intimacy don’t become one and the same until she’s in love. Which she is nowhere near. Monet thought she’d at least be in deep like by now. Vaughn doesn’t feel like they are vibing.
Once together, Dr. Levkoff asks Vaughn:
Tell Monet what you like about her as a person? His response?
Monet has a great genuine bubbly personality (WHAT???) What did he say a few episodes ago? How that was too much for him? How much of this is for the show? ugh!!
Monet, What would you like from Vaughn? I’d like for him not going into his shell.
Vaughn how does that make you feel? Well, Vaughn needs to stop and get water – and that was that… back into his shell. This is why Monet doesn’t show her vulnerable side. She can’t trust him with her emotions and as a person. Monet knows it’s not Vaughn’s issue…and that the only thing that will help is the one thing they don’t have, time. They get a few bricks down but I think by the end of the episode more of the wall is back up than was taken down.
Doug takes Jamie to lunch with his brother and sister.
We do discover something really sweet when Jamie says her sister saw her crying on her wedding day. She relates that “my little sister came over to me and said you were going to have an open heart Jamie.” Even Doug’s sister wanted to come over and comfort her. She said it’s a nice surprise that they are working out.
Jamie said his family is what she were asked for but she’s still guarded. She doesn’t want to get close and then have it all disappear. Have his family disappear. We find out that she can’t come to Easter dinner because of work schedule. I do hope at some point in the next five weeks she makes time to spend with his family.
When Dr. Logan visits Doug and Jamie she asks them similar questions about intimacy, how they feel it’s going and where they might be at physically.
We know when this started Jamie wouldn’t let Doug touch her. The first kiss came on the honeymoon and now if he’s not touching her, she’s responding: Why isn’t he touching me?
Dr. Logan asks if they are you satisfied with their current level of intimacy. Jamie is still not 100% comfortable and still changes in the bathroom. Don’t come out yet! Doug is really attracted to her but he doesn’t want to ruin anything by putting a deadline on intimacy.
From day one we knew Doug was sincere and genuine. I love that when asked three things she likes about Doug, Jamie responds that he is genuine and caring and that she really likes his body.
Um hello! Lifeguard!
Dr. Levkoff has very complicated feelings about Doug and Jamie. Doug is smitten and Jamie is guarded. She hopes Jamie give Doug a chance. SO DO THE REST OF US!!
Cortney goes to lunch with one of her friends because she needs someone to talk to. Yes, she and Jason instantly had physical connection. We like each other but there are real feelings. They aren’t talking about kids and family. Cortney doesn’t want to push that with Jason yet. She wants to know where he stands worried that Jason won’t let her in in the short amount of time.
With Dr. Logan, Jason isn’t accustomed to be open about sex.
sorry, this is an episode of: how bad of screen caps can we get of Jason’s face.
Jason is too guarded. Cortney needs to be a mother and wants to have a partner who wants to be a father those things could be a deal breaker that we didn’t know existed before. Jason wants to be financially stable before bring kids into the mix.
The Fishbowl of Questions
Dr. Logan leaves each couple with a fishbowl full of questions. You know, the deep important ones. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
Jamie set up a whole romantic candle-lit evening because she was eager to get to know each other better and was curious what discussions would come from the fishbowl. What’s their first question?
What’s the most unusual thing someone has asked you to do in bed?
There’s no easing into this innocent game. Can Jamie even answer?
They get past the awkward and end up in the silly — with a little chicken parm in bed.
Before Jason & Cortney tackle the fishbowl, he takes her to Coney Island. Trying to integrate more of each other’s lives it looks like Jason is slowly letting Cortney in. One of their questions? What’s the best decision you have ever made? Jason says doing this, getting married. So far, the best thing he’s ever done. We’re keeping our fingers crossed for you!
The whole point of the fishbowl game is to give our couples practice talking to each other about intimate things, answering the difficult questions and really listening to each other.
Monet & Vaughn discuss the sexiest thing a couple can do together. Vaughn thinks it’s taking a shower with each other, Monet thinks it’s making love, connecting, lights on.
Vaughn has to leave for a couple of days and head down to Jersey for work. it’s day 19 when he gets back hoping to have some time with Monet and pick up where they left off after the fishbowl and Dr. Logan. Monet has some other plans. Vaughn came home to “I’m having a girls night tonight.” Monet has invited friends over. I’m thinking: Why-oh-why Monet did you not do this the night before? Why did you have to do it the night you knew Vaughn would be back?
These little things are eating away at Vaughn and makes it seem that this isn’t going to work out for this passionate couple.
Ballroom Dancing
We end with a little ballroom dancing.
That isn’t Dirty Dancing Doug!
Jamie and Doug decide to take ballroom dance classes. Not just because Jamie wants Doug to lift her like Dirty Dancing but because the first dance at the wedding didn’t go so well. The dancing seems to work as Doug says it brought back the giddy-ness. Jamie says: “I really want to fall in love with him. I can see myself with him for the rest of my life.” Somewhere she say “you made me have feelings.” This may have been during the fishbowl game but OMG guys, I have feelings for you!!
Next time…
We see what Monet & Vaughn are up to…
Jason attends Cortney’s burlesque show Cortney wants Jason to meet her family and Jamie takes Doug home to meet her family. I may have started crying at how vulnerable Jamie is being. Letting her guard down and seeing where she came from is going to be sooo hard.
What questions would you have in your fishbowl? I expect answers people!
- How do you express anger?
- If you could go back in time to your teenage self, what two words would you say?
- What aspect of your personality is most undervalued?
- If you were forced to change your nationality, which country would you want to grow up as a citizen of?
- If I gave you a four year old to look after, where would you take them for the day?
We have four weeks left until our season finale, scheduled for Sept. 9. Only four weeks left until we find out who is still together!
CHECK OUT ALL OUR MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT RECAPS HERE
Married at First Sight is on the FYI Channel, Tuesdays at 9 ET/ 10 PT
Screen Caps by Emily
