I’m sufficiently unnerved watching you. It’s not even your premise (that three years ago 2% of the entire world’s population mysteriously disappeared), or the pack of dogs decimating a stag that might have been the soul of some lost person that have left me feeling … horrified.
Here’s what it is:
The {not a} Cult
Look, I grew up in a Protestant American church in the 90s and attended an evangelical private school. I could practically teach master classes on cults. They don’t scare me. My husband grew up in one.
But I have a serious problem with this non-speaking, all white wearing, perpetually angry-chain-smoking group of weirdos. I don’t like people who stare. And I don’t like it when people don’t speak.
This app
Are you kidding me? Is this Spin the Bottle app a real thing? A real thing that real teenagers in the world PLAY? And it has options beyond just yanno … kissing? If you can’t tell from this gif, those things include, in increasingly horrific order: “Hug” (ok, this is nice), “Tip” (which I’m choosing to believe means to give some friendly advice), “Titty” (which isn’t even a VERB, app-builders), “Eff” (which someone DOES and it blew my mind) and “Choke” (… CHOKE!!!). Is there a “POOP ON” option because that sounds about as much fun. If this is what the kids are doing these days then remind me to NEVER LET MY DAUGHTERS OUT OF MY SIGHT. I’m absolutely terrified of this.
Scariest thing is: IF this app doesn’t exist, it most definitely WILL exist very soon. You can quit bemoaning SnapChat, mommy bloggers. Focus on the TittyChokeEffing going on in your upstairs game room.
The Kristen Stewart School of Acting Lead Girl
… who I am sure is very lovely. But … MAN, is she ever a quick study of a KStew impressionist. Can you attend a school of acting that basically just encourages low murmuring, mean-girl-eyes and minimal movement? I can see Kristin giving her line notes now.
“Stop it; don’t be amused. DO NOT SHOW AMUSEMENT.”
No, lick and THEN bite. Why aren’t you blinking?
The deader your eyes the better. I can see that head shake. bee tee dubs.
Your almost caring too much here. Watch it.
**Her name is Margaret Qualley and her mom is Andie MacDowell … see it???????
The Taylor Lautner Twins
WHAT IS GOING ON? Is this some kind of alternate universe where Everything Goes Back to Twilight? (Although, as we’ve found to be true many times at That’s Normal, EGBTT is a universal truth from THIS universe. Because seriously, everything goes back to Twilight … even Sam Heughan’s twitter feed and my new crush on Reeve Carney).
But it’s like these guys stepped out of the Alpaca Farm, asked Big Daddy where the nearest Olive Garden was, and ended up on this hit HBO show. OH, and on their way there, they played some werewolves on Teen Wolf. This is too much coincidence.
Aging Hot Actors Are Aging
Justin Theroux is suddenly old enough to have grown children? HOKAY, no, not buying it.
Christopher Eccleston looks like a legit OLD MAN.
I thought you were supposed to regenerate, man. AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE DR WHO.
And Liv Tyler WAS SUPPOSED TO LIVE FOREVER.
Yeah, you are looking old. It’s not cool
So, if you haven’t started watching HBO’s newest series, The Leftovers, you aren’t that far behind. With only three episodes aired of the original show, you can catch up in an evening and be ready to watch live this Sunday night. For a show that isn’t supposed to be scary, just mysterious, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to sleep if I keep watching it. What if a Robert Pattinson body double shows up? WHAT THEN?
Have you seen The Leftovers yet? Any clue as to what in the world is going on? Are you terrified of that app like I am? What about Liv Tyler’s baggy eyes?
