*Contains SPOILERS… but I don’t think you’ll mind. I don’t give away the BIG stuff*
Like most of Robert Pattinson’s movies post Twilight you spend an hour fighting it, wanting it to be more, wanting to like it, wanting to feel like he’ll be a big mainstream movie star again. Then about an hour and 10 in you finally let go and let God. The Rover is no different.
Does that make it any easier for Rob fans who came to love him as Edward Cullen the eternally 17 year old vampire? Nah, but it means we’ll probably still see him in movies in the years to come because he’s reaching an audience outside of us. It’s ok though, I saw The Rover and I’m here to tell you he may not be Edward Cullen anymore but it’s gonna be ok… cause he’s Rob.
1. Rob Likes Offbeat Material
Just accept it now everyone, we are no longer in Edward territory. For better or for worse, is not to be determined yet but more so depends on your movie going proclivites and your willingness to let Rob be an actor and weave you a tale. If you saw Cosmopolis, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you attemped to read Bel Ami, you also know what I’m talking about. This is not Tom Cruise material.
2. Shit Gets Real. And Gory.
Fifteen minutes into the film a little person from a defunct circus (Rob likes material with little people and circuses) is shot in the head at point blank range with a bang that made me yell out loud and cover my face with my press notes. Obviously, this is a film you could totally add to your family Twilight marathon night. I spent the rest of the movie with those notes partially covering my face and a friend sat next to me with her fingers near her ears because this is a movie with a lot of loud gunshots and gory scenes.
3. The Accent
Yup, I’m gonna go there. At one point Guy Peace says to Robert Pattinson’s character: “You’re gonna have to start talking to me!” And I said “Please don’t!” out loud. If you haven’t seen the trailer you might not know that Rob’s character, Rey, has a “southern” accent, for kind of unexplained reasons (at least none that I could understand) since the film takes place in Australia. Add in his Super Cuts hairdo, “simple mind” (no really, they call him “slow”) and he comes off somewhere between a cross of Baby Huey and Lennie from Of Mice and Men.
4. Don’t Hate Him ‘Cuz He’s Beautiful
The best part of the film arguably is the most unexpected, nope not the little person murder or the 50 other murders but when Guy and Rob are walking through a desert type scene and Keri Hilson’s Pretty Girl Rock kicks in. Cut to later at night when Rob’s sitting by himself in a car and starts singing along. I CAN’T EVEN. It was such a wonderful, Rob moment. Also, hope you’re cool with dirty men because these two stone foxes, Rob and Guy are covered in about a ton of dirt, sweat and bad shoes. Sure, this movie takes place after some sort of societal “collapse” but come on, cargo shorts? No.
5. You Can Take A Man To It
I took a certain discerning gentleman (ok, he’s my boyfriend) with me to see The Rover because it looked like a movie dudes would be into and honestly, I could use him for soundbites for this review (tricky, tricky!). Before we went in I drilled him on his Rob thoughts over Urth Cafe salads. They included: “He acts like he’s seen pictures of James Dean and tries to carry himself how he imagines James Dean would’ve… without ever seeing James Dean on film.” BOYS.
6. You Will Feel Feelings
This societal “collapse” has made hardened men out of boys and people who probably were much nicer before this unexplained collapse happened. Somewhere through all this Rob’s Rey remains the most human of the bunch and you feel for him. His brother left him for dead in the middle of the road and yet he’s still trying to get back to him. Even Guy Pearce lets tiny moments of humanity shine through… then he covers up those tiny moments and shoots someone in the head. You win some, you lose some.
7. The Ending
I don’t even know guys. At the end a friend and I looked at each other and go “wait, the whole reason he’s looking for that car is because of SPOILER? WTF?!” Report back here once you’ve seen it. Or better yet text or tweet me cause… yeaaa.
I left the nice screening room feeling like I had sat in a broke down hot tub full of sweat, in a room reeking of B.O. and sadness and completely parched. The Australian outback looks like the next place I want to vacation! Ok, ok all that really means is that the filmmakers did an amazing job from cinematography to score. It’s a sparse, beautiful and carefully crafted film. Though not everyone’s cup of tea, it’s a great addition to Rob’s canon of work and exciting to see where he’s going as an actor… if The Rover is any indication, far far away from the pacific northwest and a Mr. Edward Cullen.
The Rover is in theaters today!
Will you see The Rover movie? Would you attempt taking a guy or take your elegant lady friends to this gore/sweat fest?
