When news broke earlier this spring that Rob (Pattinson, whatever, let’s just call him Rob) would be filming his new movie, Idol’s Eye, in Chicago, I got stoked. It’s irrational, but since I live in Chicago and I’ve spent an admittedly ridiculous amount of time following his career, I feel a certain sense of pride knowing that he might spend at least a little bit of his upcoming town exploring my town. And while I think I’m uniquely qualified to show Rob around (I spent years writing about the city for a local publication and I consider my tastes to be pretty cool and maybe Rob-centric), I know that he probably wouldn’t be too stoked about a married, 33-year-old fangirl taking him out for drinks. So instead I decided to write this post and run down all the things I think my pal Rob should do when he’s in town. Maybe he’ll read it. (or not, whatever.)
Eat at Pequod’s
As Rob noted in a recent interview, he’s “100 percent a Chicago pizza guy.” I’m not, really, being originally from other areas of the Midwest that aren’t so interested into making their pizza a casserole, but I’ve come to love the stuff. Actually, strike that. I’ve come to love the good versions of the stuff. There are plenty of deep dish locations downtown, which is where I assume Rob’ll be staying, but the really good stuff is just a bit north of downtown in Lakeview at a joint called Pequod’s. Locals know. It’s got carmelized, cheesy crust, and it’s worlds—worlds, I say!—better than anything Rob might already think he likes in terms of Chicago pizza.
Get a steak.
This one’s just because he says in the same article that he’s been dreaming of a steak he had in Chicago. Treat yo’ self! (I’d also suggest Hot Doug’s, but the idea of Rob standing in a four hour line to eat while people stare at him… no.)
Go see some shows
Rob likes music, and there are plenty of good places to see bands in Chicago. Moreover, there are plenty of clubs that would hook him up with some VIP passes and keep him away from the tittering masses. There are fantastic shows in Chicago this summer, including the Pitchfork Music Festival. Rob, please. Go outside. Your pasty skin and musical soul need it. Bonus points if you go to the Hideout, because that’s super Chicago.
And speaking of shows, blues bars.
I’m not much for blues, but if you want good blues bars—and Rob’s not great tracks from the Twilight soundtrack would seem to suggest he does—your cup runneth over in Chicago. We’ve got Buddy Guy’s, but that’s touristy. Green Mill is also great, but even that’s kind of insane lately. I suggest Rosa’s Lounge, which isn’t in a great neighborhood, but does happen to be directly across from my husband’s office. Additionally, it’s the underground place to go, and I’ve even seen members of Mumford And Sons Instagram pics from there, so… Rob can just ask his pals, assuming they’re his pals, and I really have no idea.
Don’t go anywhere your publicist or any publicist tells you to go.
There are entire bars in Chicago—RPM, Nellcote, Underground Lounge, etc.—that make their living hosting borderline celebrities when they come through Chicago. Two of the Backstreet Boys just had lunch at one the other day. But that’s not you, Rob. That’s those other people. Be a regular guy. Be a Phillip Seymour-Hoffman. Be a Chicagoan.
Call me?
We can go out to some dive bars. Ever had an Old Style? A shot of Malort? Plus I have a nice porch and a cute dog, and Rob’s more than welcome to hang out and watch the World Cup or whatever.
Written by Marah
Marah is a writer in Chicago and an admitted Twilight fan who has spent a good portion of her personal and professional life worrying about people with really, really bad Cullen tattoos.
